Thank you gift

I'll keep this short.  I hope that you and yours have a healthy and Happy Thanksgiving.  That said, unlike Christmas/Hanukkah, there aren't gifts...yet.  I'm sure that as Black Friday/Thursday (soon to be Wednesday) and Cyber Monday/Sunday (soon to be June 11) creep further and further from the holiday, we'll be encouraged by retailers to just give a little something in honor of the TG holiday.  And, what better gift than something food related?  So, without further ado, here are some food-related gifts that you should be bringing with you tomorrow when you gorge on meats and carbs:

First, there's Bacon Scented Underwear.  This is obviously a gift for trained professionals.  This isn't a gift given lightly, or to someone who you don't readily know.  While it's made in two cuts, one for men and one for women, I can't get behind anything that makes a lady's nether region smell like meat.  However, there's definitely going to be that dude out there who digs that, so what do I know.  Frankly, due to our natural digestive processes and tendency for gluttony this Holiday, it's likely to be a menagerie of smells down there to begin with.  Unless this product can promise that all others will be replaced with the pleasant odor of bacon...you may want to pass on these.

https://baconsalt.3dcartstores.com/Bacon-Scented-Underwear-Pillowcases_c_112.html

More meat-related gifts?  OK.  What do you get for the BBQ chef who has everything?  Why, a personalized steak branding iron, of course!  The folks over at Texas Irons have an array of brands with catchy phrases on them, or you can go for the personalized monogrammed irons for those times when you need to claim your meat prior to it being served.  "Hands off, asshole, that's my steak, and I know because, yes, it does have my name on it."

http://texasirons.com/prod_bitemebbqbrandingiron.cfm?gclid=Cj0KEQiA1dWyBRDqiJye6LjkhfIBEiQAw06ITjad0neyDgOGR1Whve-Z4X5coccd_SiZwEUd4ydEqhAaAnl18P8HAQ

Finally, you can't be expected to eat Grandma's fresh-made apple pie without the "a la mode" component.  But, frequently, the ice cream freshly taken out of the freezer makes those first couple of scoops neigh impossible.  Enter the ScoopTHAT! ice cream scoop.  Yeah, it looks like an ordinary scoop, but, armed with a patent-pending heating system that transfers your natural body heat into the scoop cup itself, you're literally heating the blade edge of the cup, melting the ice cream as you effortlessly serve it up to cap an otherwise fantastic meal with the fam. 

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KGWNOFU/?tag=frepixboa-20

That's it.  And, while it's too late to order this crap before tomorrow, plan ahead for next year, when the retail industry will be having their Christmas specials on Labor Day!

No Debate Necessary

I’m sick of the debate.  There should not be a debate.  Right now, the Republicans in Congress are proposing a bill which would affect limitations on refugees and asylum seekers that are Presidential powers.  This is a waste of time as it’s already been demonstrated that the bill, if it makes it through both House and Senate, would be vetoed by the White House and that the nay-sayers wouldn’t have the votes to overturn it.  Then, they’re going to put similar language into the next budget bill, a bill that must pass to keep government open, so that the President can’t similarly veto it lest he be accused of shutting down government.

Translation: the Republican caucus, again, is stomping their feet and carrying on like a 2 year old because they’re not getting what they want.  They. Don’t. Learn.  This tactic has ONLY backfired in years past (ex. see debate on National Health Care, see debate on same-sex marriage, see debate on debt limits).  And now, at a critical time, when we have a solid opportunity to put the Republican-led Islami-phobic fear-mongering rhetoric to bed by providing charity to people in desperate need, we have idiots like Ted Cruz and Jeb Bush saying, “well, we’re really only partial to those Christians who are being prejudiced against.”

“…all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”

~Declaration of Independence

Where did the ideal of “All men are created equal” go?  Conservatives are all too quick to scream “2^nd Amendment” from the rooftops, but have forgotten why that was important in the first place, to stop tyranny and oppression.  And, our government admitted, through legislation, that they royally fucked up during World War 2, in the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965:

“Entries shall be made available by the Attorney General, because of persecution or fear of persecution on account of race, religion, or political opinion; or that they are persons uprooted by catastrophic natural calamity as defined by the President who are unable to return to their usual place of abode.”

In addition, we believe ourselves to be part of the civilized world, and in 1945, the United States joined the United Nations as a Security Council member…charged with maintaining peace and security among countries!  And, we joined the 1967 Protocol Relating to the Status of Refugees which requires that the US must, in good faith, protect refugees regardless of when they became refugees or where there are from.

"No Contracting State shall expel or return ('refouler') a refugee in any manner whatsoever to the frontiers of territories where his life or freedom would be threatened on account of his race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social or political opinion"

The United States is already a hillbilly joke to the developed world.  Should these right-wing, conservative cry-babies prevail, it would thrust us backwards in civilized time, damage our international credibility, and, most importantly, turn our backs on a people who desperately need assistance that only we can provide.  It’s time to vote these assholes out!

StarCups

I tend to surround myself by like-minded individuals on FaceBook.  But, every now and then I get someone up in arms about something I believe to be completely stupid.  And then this article came out:

http://www.cnbc.com/2015/11/09/starbucks-holiday-red-cup-brews-controversy-on-social-media.html

And, FaceBook became the battlefield on which the “War on Christmas” has started to rage.  (Note: typically when Trump is for something, I can almost guarantee I’m against it.)

This whole debate is very aggravating for a non-Christian such as myself.  I’m going to make some generalizations without any documented evidence, so just follow along.

1.

There is no war on Christmas.  Usually, this is a gut reaction to when a commercial entity tones down otherwise religious themes in order to appeal to a broader marketable audience.  The first instinct from the religious public is that the commercial entity is softening their approach.  Yes.  This is capitalism.  And, if a company thinks they’ll make more money during a “Holiday Season” vs. strict “Christmas-only” celebrations, then it’s certainly within their rights to do so.  And, as a consumer, you have a choice: you can turn a blind eye to a company’s (most likely) fiscal initiatives, or you can shop somewhere else.  So, before you start raging that the War on Christmas is on, bitches, teach that company a lesson, and spend your money elsewhere.  We Jews, Hindus, Muslims, etc. will likely fill the void as our holidays roll in around the same time.  (P.S. did you know that it’s already Diwali???)

2.

Are you telling me that a seasonal conveyance of coffee that is exclusively red and green represents anything other than Christmas?  Even toned down, this can’t be mistaken for anything other than Christmas colors.  So, idiot, get the fuck over it and, I challenge you to draw your own goddam snowflakes and Christmas trees on it to your liking…because, everyone is obviously staring at your cup in hopes for religious guidance and approval. It. Is. A. Cup.

3.

For those who have posted “No matter what is said to me, I’m never uttering the phrase ‘Happy Holidays’ because I’m Christian, and anything less than ‘Merry Christmas’ is a personal affront and demeaning to the season,” well, sir/madam, you’ve now made it easy (and logical) to block your narrow-minded ass from my FaceBook feed.  Certainly, I wouldn’t be offended if someone who doesn’t know me wished me a Merry Christmas.  That’s casual.  However, if you’re going to be an ass-clown about your insistence that Jesus is the only game in town this time of year, go beat feet, my friend.  You’re the reason why, internationally, the world thinks Americans are fat and ignorant.  And, taking pride in your ignorance is nothing to be proud of.  Being loudest doesn't mean you're right.

To sum up, nobody is waging war on your religion, Christians. Until they change it, the Constitution has clearly made religious freedom a priority…which means you can practice any way you choose.  However, as soon as you start your “I’m right and you’re wrong” religious intolerance hate speech, you can count me out…or rather, I can count you out.  Christmas has never been more publicized than it is today.  NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.  As long as there is money to be made from it, expect the advertisements and rhetoric to get louder and more in your face.  This fact alone makes it hard to be a non-Christian in this country.  You can’t go shopping in any store without the constant affront.  However, I have a suggestion for those feeling nostalgic about years past when there wasn’t this controversy: if you want to return to those good old times…the Norman Rockwell Christmases of the early part of the 20^th Century, then I suggest you do what they did in the 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50’s…and get the messages of Jesus Christ from Church instead of Starbucks.

Happy Holidays.

Swimming up the music stream

So, how do you like your music?  Personally, as you may know from previous posts, I’m a fan of having a physical CD.  Now, that’s not especially practical due to the volume of music I have digitally.  However, most of my digital collection I ripped myself into iTunes.  Why?  Because I wanted higher quality versions of songs than a typical MP3.  For those not attuned to lossy audio codecs, see this entry. 

Apple’s default encoder is AAC (or M4A) which, supposedly, has a small sound-quality advantage on MP3s recorded at the same bit-rate.  Following?  Good.  Personally, I like to rip my CDs at 192 kbps (kilobits per second, the more the higher quality), or better yet, 256 kbps AAC.  This is as close to CD quality as you can get with a squished audio file.  But, these days, people are streaming music left and right.  What do you get with one of the subscription services?In a quick breakdown, Pandora is 64 kbps for free and 192 kbps for Pandora One subscribers.  Rhapsody Apple Music streams at 256 kbps.  Spotify is up at 320 kbps for subscribers.

What’s this all mean?  Well, most of us who are streaming are either sitting at a computer somewhere (with or without headphones) and/or driving in a car.  Computer speakers produce a cringe-worthy sound when music is played through them, regardless of the quality.  Similarly, unless you have some kind of premium audio system in your car, the surrounding ambient noise while driving makes car music sound like crap.  However, when streaming to a stereo or pair of decent headphones, you could expect to hear decently recorded/streamed music.  And, that means that if you’re starting with a crap feed (i.e. Pandora’s free feed) then it’s going to sound that much worse when played through sub-par speakers. 

However, if you’ve got a decent sound system, it has the chance to work.  Personally, I’ve eschewed streaming services preferring a mix of my already-owned music.  I won’t pay for satellite either.  If I want to listen to 40 non-stop hours of the Grateful Dead, I’ve got that (and likely more) on my PC at home.  And, if that’s not enough, I’ve got some options.

Specifically, I’ve turned to a couple of apps which feed my desire to listen to good music.  First is Live 365 (iOS/Android and free).  This is the app that’s helped me through my WNTI fix.  It’s also got a ton of music categories you can check out, and other established internet stations.  They broadcast at 128 kbps. 

Phish time?  For free you can get a non-stop Phish stream at 64 kbps.  That’s not great, but it’s your trip, man, and if you need a fix, they got what you’re looking for.

Perhaps my favorite app is the one that draws from Archive.Org, the on-line non profit digital library, based on San Francisco, which has access to websites, software, games, movies, images, and, best of all, music.  As of May 2014, they had collected 15 petabytes of information/media.  And, in their collection is over 10,000 Grateful Dead recordings.  Granted, there are multiple (and different) recordings from many of the shows, mostly due to a taper-friendly band.  Still, that’s countless hours of music.  And it’s not just the Dead.  They have shows from Smashing Pumpkins, the Radiators, Guster, Cracker, John Mayer, Jack Johnson, and countless others.  Also, you can check out music from around the world, in about any language, and any genre.  It’s an amazing collection…all for free.  And, typically, music is preserved in its highest digitally available quality, with most recorded/streaming between 100 kbps and 200 kbps.  Zowie!

How do you access it?  Either go directly to the site (the Grateful Dead button is clear and obvious), or get an app for your mobile device.  My preference is Archivist ($3.99 iOS) which scans the music on your phone and adds any artists who have an Archive.Org presence to your favorites list.  Right now, based on its analysis, I’ve got about 12,000 shows to go through before I’m done…and, at decent quality.  Also, it will allow me to ‘favorite’ shows/recordings I like the best so I can re-listen at any time.  I’d be curious about your listening habits, so if you have a favorite way to get your music, let me know in the comments section here or on FB.  Until then, I’ll be jamming to some awesome tunes for the next couple of … years.