The Democratic Sham

Democracy is dead.  It’s a conclusion that I’ve come to after witnessing the failures of established political regimes time and time again.  The truth is, you can head to the polls, you can cast your vote, and it will all be for nothing.  The establishment will continue on the same course as they always have, without regard for the public’s need and desire for change.  What does the popular opinion count for?  Why would a vote be called if the results weren’t acted upon?  Why tease us?

I ask this question despite it being rhetorical.  We know the answer already.  Politicians are set in their ways.  The rhetoric is just that, empty promises.  Say one thing and then do what you want regardless.  It’s an abuse of the public trust.

I am of course talking about the decision of Britain’s Natural Environmental Research Council (NERC) to not name their new research vessel the RRS Boaty McBoatface.  Oh, a vote was held, and, the preferred name, Boaty McBoatface, received over 120,000 votes.  To be exact, 124,109 votes were tallied for the RRS Boaty McBoatface, which is over 4 times more than the second place selection: RRS Poppy-Mai, so named after a 16 month old girl with incurable cancer (as reported by NPR).  Yes, that's sad...but seriously, folks...is that any more appropriate?  Want sad science?  No, I didn't think so.

Apparently, the decision of the name for the new research ship rests with the NERC council and president, saying that they will not put forth a superfluous name to the Queen who will, ceremonially, be in charge of blessing the ship.  I call bullshit.  That woman isn’t in charge of the government…she’s merely a figurehead!  Seriously, I thought England was over this monarchal archetype!  It’s time that we, the people, take a stand and make our voices heard!  Yes, I’m not English…but that’s not the point!  The world needs a boat named BOATY MCBOATFACE!  Get angry people!  This is way bigger than the sham that’s going on in NY today!  Primaries are BS…the national committees will pick who they want regardless of our votes!  It’s plain fact!  But this, this is an atrocity!  Damn you England!  Damn you NERC!  And DAMN YOU YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS!

Wallet Wars

So, you may or may not have heard, there's a new Star-Wars spin-off movie that will be in theaters on December 16; Rogue One.  Even though only the teaser trailer has been released, a lot was said about what this movie is going to be about.  The trailer would suggest that we've got a story about how the Rebels acquired the plans for the Death Star.  It suggests that Forest Whitaker will be added to the Star Wars canon of actors, presumably in a "good" role.  And, most importantly, it seems that we're going to have another female lead as Felicity Jones (The Theory of Everything) is prominently portrayed as a futuristic bad-ass.

A couple of observations about myself:

I'm hoping, that, based on the success of TWO Star Wars movies with female leads, there will be a resurgence of female toys in the stores for us dads who want their kids playing with the "good-gals" at home, in-between movies.  DC figured it out with the recent release of these!  More please!

As a forty year old, I didn't really need a reason to spend money on the Star Wars Universe as I, already, have spent a college tuition's equivalent on movies (theater, DVD and Blu Rey; see what I did there?  Thanks Scott), toys, originally scored and remastered soundtracks, more toys, Legos, costumes for the boy, comics, fan fiction (Admiral Thrawn, I'm looking in your direction), and, of course, toys.  When the original trilogy was re-released into the theaters in 1997, a friend and I went to go charge ourselves new light & sound light sabers that we then brought to the theater...where we saw the movies that we had already seen 100+ times, again.  And, again. 

Despite this new movie not being a "sequel," I have hopes that it's going to be great.  I have hopes that it will include James Earl Jones in his reprised roll (and maybe even Ian McDiarmid), to bring continuity to the film. 

Even if it's "bad" I'll likely see it twice, once as a tester, and once with the boy.  That'll be two more times than I'll ever see Superman vs. Batman in the theater after abominable reviews. 

My poor wife.  Our Decembers are already insane with birthdays, holidays, professional football (she plays, I don't), and now my almost religious devotion to a galaxy far far away.  The only positive is that, with the kids, I don't look as freakish when I do go to Toys R Us to get new loot, that is, until the clerk overhears that the kids won't be allowed to play with it. 

May the force (and credit cards) be with you...always.

Soup Hack

Listen, it's April 1st, and it's time to fool someone or something.  In that spirit, I give you the Ramen Noodle Soup hack.  Fool yourself into thinking it's healthier than it actually is. 

First, get yourself a standard package of instant ramen soup, complete with noodle brickette, and what amounts to a packet of salt.  I prefer the shrimp flavor, mostly because my wife only eats seafood (occasionally) and the chicken one, while I don't think there's actual chicken in it, skeeves her out.




Follow the instructions, which go like this: 2 cups of water, bring to boil, toss in noodle brick, simmer for 3 minutes, turn off heat and dump in salt-packet.


However, you may get more nutrition out of deep-fried shoe leather.  So, while you're boiling your water, consider adding something a bit more healthy.  What you'll need is:

3 tbsp of sesame oil
1 shallot, diced
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
1/4 red pepper chunked
1/4 cup of peas
1/4 cup of baby spinach leaves
5 cleaned frozen shrimp (tail on)
1 egg, preferably soft-boiled, but hard-boiled works as well
4 tbsp of soy sauce
3 tbsp of hoisin
1 pat of unsalted butter


Simply put, it's stir-fry time.  Oil first in a non-stick pan that's heated to a medium heat.  Toss in the shallot and let it sweat for a minute before you throw in the peppers.  After a minute or so of that, add the garlic, red pepper, peas, shrimp and continue to stir-fry.  When the peas start to pucker/shrimp cooks fully, you're almost there, add the soy sauce, hoisin and the butter and continue to stir until the butter is melted.  By now your ramen should be at a boil so add the brick.  When the noodles are done and you've added the flavoring packet, take the whole sautee and just dump it into the broth.  Slice the egg and place both halves, yolk up into the soup.  Garnish with the fresh spinach which should wilt a bit the longer it sits in the broth...and VIOLA, done.  Results should look something like the shot below.  And yes, I eat my ramen with a pair of light saber chopsticks as we all know that ancient Japanese tradition has a major role in the Star Wars saga.  Seriously. 


Anyway, there you go.  Yes, it's a lonely meal for one.  But, what a meal.  You can easily modify it for more than a single serving.  In fact, I encourage you to do so. 


And, no they don't light up...but yours can:

Light-up Chopsticks (Amazon)

What's old is new again

In case you've not been following Apple news, there's a new iPhone coming to market: the iPhone 5SE.  Why SE?  It's a special edition.  A couple of things to think whether you want one or not.

1. It's physically smaller than the last version.  In fact, it's the same size as the Apple 5 and 5S.  Tech bloggers have discovered that accessory manufacturers have been changing their packaging to reference the new phone (5/5S/5SE). 

2. The innards are nearly identical to what's found in the 6S.  By innards, I mean the processors, cameras and the like. 

3.  As the tech isn't "new" the intent is that apple provide a lower-cost option to the 2015 Fall release of the Apple 6S and 6S Plus.  That said, it's been discovered that the US isn't the real market for this phone.  Apparently, product reviews in China have demonstrated that they're more interested in the smaller devices for some reason. 

4.  There have been no reports by Verizon/AT&T et. al. about price changes...or Apple for that matter.  While this phone will cost less than the ones that debuted 7 months ago, you would still go about getting one the same way: renew-in-two plan or a multi-month pricing plan through either your cellular provider or Apple.

That's it.  Last year was one step forward, and this is two steps back...sort of.  Oh, and it runs Apple's new iOS 9.3 along with many of the previous generation phones.  If you've got an i-Device, make sure you update your OS as, in addition to some features, there are security loop-holes that get plugged with this update.  Mom, update your phone.

A quick note on that, make sure you do a full phone back-up before you update.  Early reports show that those of us with iPad 2s may have "bricking" issues after the update.  It's not serious, but you may have to restore the iPads after the update...and it's best to do that with a recent back-up...which you should be doing anyway, mom.  I mean seriously.

Happy Apple-ing. 

A Box of Rain

A friend succumbed to cancer this past week.  A good friend?  To tell the truth, I didn’t know him as well as I would have liked.  We had similar interests as professional sports spectators (and sometimes gamblers) and a mutual appreciation for food, family vacations, and friendships.  During his battle, he became absolutely selfless.  His medical needs were being addressed to a degree, and this allowed him to focus on his visitors, constantly offering anything he had to make them more comfortable.  I noticed this, but didn’t realize that throughout his life, this was how he operated.  Eulogy after eulogy given by his family and mentors all said the same thing: Darren just wanted to make sure you were OK, that you were happy and taken care of.  It was amazing to hear that theme repeated again and again.  I’m thankful for knowing him and will miss him, if, for nothing else, the lack of opportunity to know him better. 

I’m almost certain he and I didn’t share the same musical taste, but every song I listen to reminds me that he’s gone, and that he’s left his family stronger for the experience.  As an avid Grateful Dead fan, the following lyrics have been repeating in my head for a while now, and I’d like to share them with you. 

Walk into splintered sunlight
Inch your way through dead dreams
to another land
Maybe you're tired and broken
Your tongue is twisted
with words half spoken
and thoughts unclear
What do you want me to do
to do for you to see you through
A box of rain will ease the pain
and love will see you through.

Rest in peace, Darren.  And, as was evidenced by the hundreds who attended your funeral yesterday, we will make sure that love sees us through.

#ledermanstrong

Car Play

Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s Apple CarPlay Stereo.  I’m pretty sure that’s what God had in mind when delivering the 10 Commandments. 

After getting a ticket for having a suction cup iPhone holder on my windshield…and then hearing that others have received similar tickets, it got me thinking to what the future of cell-phone integrated car-stereos might look like.  Whether you know it or not, the future is here…and has been for a while.  Apple has been partnering with automakers in the US to have vehicles with CarPlay compatible systems, dealer-installed, in new vehicles.  And, there’s a long list of “partners” who have included the Apple CarPlay stereo as an option.  However, not every car model has it. 

For example, if you like Acuras…and who doesn’t, the only model with CarPlay as an option is the $90,000 Acura NSX.  I mean, that’s pocket change for me but…

Similarly, if you prefer Fords, only the Escape has it as an option.  That’s downright sucky.  The other Fords have Ford Sync, which is terrible (used it on a rental car, and it’s not intuitive at all).  Subaru, while listed as a partner, doesn’t have a single model with CarPlay available yet.  Same with BMW and no Mini Cooper.  Actually, right now, in the affordable car category only VW and Chevy have most, if not all, of their vehicles with CarPlay as an option.

So what?  What’s it get you?  Well, as an apple adopter/user, CarPlay gracefully integrates some of your phone functionality into the car stereo displayed as the apps you know and love.  Mostly they’re the audio-centric apps (podcast, music, Pandora, etc.), because watching YouTube while driving is really dangerous.  However, if you’ve got a Spotify account or want to listen to podcasts or audiobooks, then maybe CarPlay is for you.  Those icons, along with Maps, Music, Messages, etc., appear right on the console.  Amazing!  Also, the Apple CarPlay is Siri compatible!  Hey Siri, I need directions to the nearest sushi restaurant.  Maps pops up and you’re done and done.  (Note: doesn’t work for non-apple mapping apps such as WAZE or Google Maps…because they’re competitors to Apple Maps and you can’t always get what you want.)

Yeah, that’s nice and all, but I like my car/can’t afford one of the models where CarPlay is installed.  What about me?  Well, car-audio makers Pioneer, Alpine and Kenwood all sell head-units to replace your car stereo.  Retail for one of these goes between $300 and $900, but, thanks to Crutchfield, you can buy one, complete with the tools to change it out, and do it yourself.  No install fee.  That’s super nice.

Should you buy one?  That’s up to you.  Typical with Apple products, CarPlay stereos just work, but they’re limited to what Apple wants you to do with them.  Are there alternatives?  Of course, but they don’t allow for a direct transition of the app icons and functionality into the dash, especially not the transfer of the Maps capabilities.  But, you can buy less expensive Bluetooth car stereos that show you album art and the like. 

All in all, short of waiting for Apple to build their own car (which is already rumored), CarPlay stereos may the best way to have your mobile Apple-cake and eat it too!

Ink Me

I'm too upset about politics to write about it.  Let's talk about tattooing.

So, as I was gearing up for my 40th birthday, I had tossed around the idea of getting a tattoo...but there were serious considerations to...uh...consider.

One, would I still be able to donate blood if I got a tattoo?  I'm a big advocate of blood donation.  You are literally saving a life when you do it.  And, there's nothing easier than sitting on a table and letting your blood slowly fill a pint bag.  It doesn't take an appreciable amount of time and you're making a real medical impact. Plus, there's cookies and juice afterwards, for FREE!  I understand that there are some who have medical reasons for not being able to donate.  And, for some back-ass-ward reason, men in gay relationships are treated like 3rd-world citizens who traveled to Africa where they shot up heroin with dirty reused needles that they got from rabid chimps.  Technically, if a man has had sex with another man in the last 12 months, he can not donate.  What the fuck?  I'd get more into the latent bigotry about a group of people who are likely tested for STDs more often than the rest of the population...but that's another post for another day.  For the rest of us, even if you're tattooed, you can donate.  The Red-Cross says that, even if you get a tat in states which don't require tattoo parlor registration/regulation, you can still donate after 12 months of having the work done.  Not sure why a near-surgical procedure wouldn't be regulated...and what's going on in the District of Columbia, Georgia, Idaho, Maryland, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York, Pennsylvania, Utah and Wyoming? 

For those who get inked in an approved state the RC states that "A tattoo is acceptable if the tattoo was applied by a state-regulated entity using sterile needles and ink that is not reused. Cosmetic tattoos applied in a licensed establishment in a regulated state using sterile needles and ink that is not reused is acceptable. You should discuss your particular situation with the health historian at the time of donation."

So, in the clear on this one.  Next fear:

What are the ideas about getting tattooed as a Jew?  This one's a bit more complicated.  A literal translation of the Torah says "You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise any marks on yourselves: I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:28)."

That guy is strict!  There's a couple of interpretations.  The first is that any mark is a no-no.  So, all you Jew ladies out there with earrings, well, you're just as screwed as a dude with a tattoo.  Also, anybody with noticeable scarring from surgeries,  you've had someone mark your body (for good or for ill) and now you're out as well.  The second interpretation looks at the colon between the words of God.  That colon stipulates that, when you do get your 'mark' you don't write God's name on yourself.  It's the pause between the notes...Ahhh.  A third interpretation indicates that, as long as you're not honoring the dead (Grateful or not), then tattoo away.  This is obviously fodder for theologians more versed in the Bible than myself, so I'll leave it with this thought: if women can get earrings and people can get carved up in the name of "it's good for your health" then I can get a tattoo without upsetting any deities. 

Oh, and that whole thing about not being able to be buried in a Jewish cemetery is a load of horseshit; an old wives tale told by Jewish mothers who don't want their kids running out and permanently marking themselves without thinking.

Speaking of that, my third consideration is, would this kill my mom?  Familial opinion does weigh heavily on people's minds.  I mean, spouse and significant others are choices we make.  Family, you're born with.  Luckily, my family tends to be fairly progressive.  While it wouldn't be their first choice of expression, my bro and sis approached it with curiosity, and my parents haven't pulled my trust fund yet.  Granted, I'm not entitled to that fund until they actually put something away into that fund...and, well, there's little chance of that.  All in all, I did it for me.  I got, what I believe to be a very tasteful tattoo which has meaning to me...something I've been toying around in my mind for a while.  And, when I found the artist who could help me realize my vision, the resulting artwork exceeded my expectations.  Shit came out great.  And, as anyone with a tattoo will tell you, it's hard to get just one.  I'm already mulling over what a next one should be, and where it should be.  My sister may have inadvertently started that ball rolling when she remarked about this tat, "I thought there would be more light sabers."  Yes...light sabers...good idea.   Time to start saving.  (: