Some loose, non sequitur ramblings:

Giants won their first.  Actually, the Vikings lost to the Giants rather than Giants “won.”  Regardless, Minnesota’s performance meant that they were likely a worse NFL team than the Giants, and I’ll take it.  As I told an Eagles fan early in the season, New York G-men would be lucky to win two games this season…and one is now in the bucket. 

Halloween costumes have been decided for the kids.  This year we will be hosting Iron Man and a bunny rabbit.  Of course, they will be the most adorable versions of those two characters that you can imagine.

Finally, my experience in purchasing the Apple iPhone 5s.  I like my iPhone.  More than that, I like the idea that future phones can be automatically loaded with the settings and presets of my former devices.  This is likely true for Android users as well, but this is my story, and I’m a converted Apple fan-boy…at least of the hardware.

Well, when Apple announced the new phone, they also made small mention of a ‘trade in’ program where they’d pay you for your old iPhone based on its condition.  Well, I didn't want to "order" online, mostly because of this feature.  I figured that I'd need to go to the store to make the exchange.  But, what did interest me was the 'pick-up at store' option that Apple introduced on its site this year.

First, with a phone so high in demand, how did I ever find one?  This way:

http://iphone-check.herokuapp.com/

This site allows you to plug in your e-mail address and zip-code and it’ll shoot you a quick note as soon as the model and capacity you want becomes available at a local Apple retail store.  Genius.  (pun intended) This service is free and the dude unsubscribes you as soon as it finds you what you want.  You then have to be quick on the jump to get to Apple’s site and use the “pick up at store” function, and buy your phone.  The nicest part of this was that it allowed me to use two separate credit cards towards the single purchase.  They thought of everything!

So, I did this, bought the phone for the upgrade price, and figured that I’d return it immediately, apply the trade-in value of my 4s to the new phone, re-purchase, and be on my merry way.  And, when I got there, they indicated that, yes, I can trade in my phone, but, no, it could only be for store credit.  Why? Because, Apple doesn't have the inventory to allow stores to sell the phones outright.  The store can only sell phones that have been abandoned/non-collected/pre-purchased phones ordered online but not picked up.  Those can be sold the morning after they were left in the store.  I'm not sure what you do if you ordered one, paid and waited a day to get it...unless they are confident that they can replace it in the next day's shipment of phones.  But, that's besides the point.  So...unless you wait in line at 8am (or 6 if you actually want a phone), you can't apply the trade-in value.  And, if you do it that way, there's no guarantee that you'll get the color/capacity you had your heart set on.

Now, you say...what if I just returned the phone and re-bought it right there in the store.  Ah, as mentioned, the store, at present, is not allowed to sell iPhones...only the internet Apple website can do that.  Which means, that phone, upon its return, gets re-added to the inventory, and someone can scoop it up on the interwebs before you can get back on-line to get it. 

Sooooooooooooo, long story long, I wound up leaving the Apple Store...new phone and old in hand.  I discovered that I could sell it to Amazon for credit there for $20 less than the Apple Store.  A used 4S 32Gb was $207 at Apple and $186 at Amazon (credit again), but the real difference is that at least I'll use Amazon credit for diapers and such...household goods...and, of course, a new iPhone case!  It'll be here tomorrow.  (:

Automotive Irony

The ironic thing is that Sara took my car to visit her sister because hers was due for an oil change, and she didn’t want to risk having any car-related troubles on this quick to-and-from to Connecticut.

I should start by adding a little history.  I take good care of my car, almost obsessively so.  I’m really hoping that my mechanic doesn’t read this blog, not that I have any indication he would know enough to look for it, just that the next sentence would put a wrench (see what I did there?) into future visits to the garage.  I typically take the mechanic at his word with regards to what is wrong with my vehicle, or what needs to be replaced.  The unfair stereotype that women get treated differently at the mechanics applies to me as well.  The difference is that I’ve looked up the parts on the internet and spew back device names and procedures to appear knowledgeable.  I’m as convincing as one trying to pass themselves off as ‘native’ to a country after taking a year/semester of that language in school 10 years prior.  I know enough words to seem polite, but have just asked the restaurateur in said foreign country of where it is appropriate to crap in his pool or cup of water.

So, this past summer, I had the rear brakes replaced (pads and rotors), oil changes every 5k miles and even four new tires put on the car before our trek to Maine.  Both the cabin and engine filter were changed and last week I had two belts replaced (one essential to things like power steering and brakes) as well as the front brakes replaced (pads and rotors again).  I take decent care of a car which I purchased (much to my wife’s chagrin) and intend on keeping even after I’ve paid it off.   It’s a Subaru Forrester and it should go for between 250k and 300k miles.

As mentioned, since it had just been in the garage, I felt pretty confident that Sara could take it to CT without issue.  The car has nearly 74k miles on it.  It’s not new.  It creaks a little and gets decent mileage.  So, when she called me, mid-trip, and indicated that every time she stomped on the clutch, the thing squealed like a pig (vegetarian pig, mind you), I was in semi-disbelief and figured there was a degree of exaggeration involved. 

I was wrong.  I am sorry. 

When starting the car this last Saturday morning, Sara couldn’t even get it into gear.  Apparently, the sound Sara heard was the throw-out bearing singing its swan song as it began to fail.  Now, I’ve been driving manual transmission vehicles for close to 20 years without this particular problem.  What happened was that when the bearing finally died, parts of the slave cylinder started grinding within the clutch-case and eating away at the clutch plate…so much so that it wore a hole through the plate itself.  How do I know all this?  AAA towed the car to a dealer nearby and they had the entire tranny out and on display so that Sara could take a couple of snapshots before a rental car agency was called and got her back on her way home.

Oh yeah, she had Jude with her.  TGFiPad.

Long story short (or at least shorter than it would be if I pontificated more), my purchase of the extended warranty will cover everything minus the $100 deductible.  What would likely have cost into the thousands will be solved by Benjamin Franklin and some forethought.  Good ol’ Ben.  The rental is here with us in the Jerz.  My car remains in Vernon, CT awaiting a new clutch-case…back ordered and won’t be available by the dealer’s estimate for another 2 weeks.  This isn’t really an insightful entry, but lends itself to a couple of rules:

Always buy the extended warrantee on a vehicle you intend on keeping for more than 4 years.

Pull over and stop the car dead if you hear sound coming from the clutch.

Keep a cool head through difficult automotive times.  By not yelling at either the dealer or my insurance, I eventually  got what I wanted (and they were genuinely nice and responsive about the entire incident.)

And always listen to your wife. 

Football, Shrimp and Ear Lobes

Firstly, to cap last week’s entry, the shrimp salad went over well.  And, it’s easy to say that it was more enjoyed than the Giants performance.  So, how is it made?  What did I use?  This is a really easy dish to prepare beforehand, so, if/when entertaining, just get this done the night before. 

First, take a pound of thawed, peeled/deveined shrimp and you want to pan sear them using either stainless cookware or cast iron (my preference) in butter.  Season liberally with salt, pepper and a squeeze of lime.  Also, sprinkle a bit of smoked paprika onto each side as you flip.  Once cooked (pinked), set aside to rest and cool.  Time to prepare your mix.  Take one clove of garlic, smashed and add it to ‘warmed’ (read, room temp) brick of Philadelphia cream cheese.  Add about a 2/3 cup of chopped celery, and an quarter cup (maybe less) of finely chopped chives.  When the shrimp have cooled, give those a rough chop and toss them into a mixing bowl with the cream cheese and other ingredients.  After seeing it thoroughly mixed, put into the fridge for about an hour to guarantee that the cheese has cooled and firmed up.  The salad can be used as a dip or you can do what I did and serve it on pretzel roll sliders.  The added saltiness from the rolls really worked well with the lightly seasoned shrimp salad.  And, that’s that!

The next home game is against the Minnesota Vikings.  I won’t be at that one, but Roger and I have a great recipe for the regional comfort food Hotdish using tater tots and ‘Lutheran Binder’, Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup.  Again, would be prepared at home and warmed at the game.

I should add that, while the game was a complete disappointment (at least the 4^th and most important quarter), the tailgate was amazing.  The aforementioned Chef made an appearance with some really flavorful pre-marinated short ribs.  There were pork medallions kabobs, crab and bean salad, filet mignon, stuffed sausage and home-made desserts where the most amazing one was a cream-cheese apple crumble (eat ‘em to get beat by them?).  Just fantastic!  Eventually, the Giants will win a home-game, but at least their losses won’t ruin my game-day experience, plus my 3 fantasy football teams killed it this weekend.  Giants were the only downer in an otherwise fantastic football weekend!

Non sequitur extra:  I’m trying to popularize a name for the left-over stretched out ear holes which are the aftermath of having decorative plugs instead of simple earrings: What do you think of “Lobia?”  Discuss. 

Eat'em and Beat'em

You're probably wondering where Rabid Giant fits in (or maybe not)?  I'll start by saying that I follow just one sport: American Football.  This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who knows me.  Sundays between September and February are all spoken for.  In addition to being a rabid Giants fan (see what I did there?) the Fantasy Football Gods call to me.  Fantasy has made me a greater fan of the game.  I know more players.  I watch more highlights.  I check more stats.  I both love and hate players and teams I never followed before.  I subscribe to twitter and rss feeds to get the latest on injuries/trades and status updates for every team in the league.  It's obsessive, and the only consolation is that I don't do the same for Baseball/Basketball/Hockey...so there's a considerable break (for my wife and family) between the end of January and the following August.

That said, it started with the Giants, which makes sense for a guy whose family all came from NYC/Jersey.  Grandpa watched the Giants (and the A Team; "Don't worry, none of them are going to die.  They have to come back next week.") and may have instilled some core degrees of respect/passion early on in my life.  Finding kindred spirits in the Jerz was not difficult.  My friend Don and I were frequently horse after watching a game screaming both at good plays and terrible ones.  It comes with the territory of being an extreme fan of any sport. 

Regardless, when season tickets for the Giants became available, I lobbied hard to grab them up.  The new stadium would be my stadium.  I went halvsies with Sara's dad for the PSLs and ponied up enough dough for 2 seats.  Sara surprisingly agreed.  She understood that these tickets would be a part of our as-of-yet unborn son's life (and now daughter's) for years and years.  And, in what I regard as a product of "mommy brain" (read: extreme pregnancy hormonal confusion) she wholeheartedly agreed that this should be part of our family's tradition...right next to splitting the holidays between Christmas and Hanukkah and worshiping New Orleans it's food, it's music, it's culture.  That was three years ago, and I haven't looked back.

Why was it so important for those tickets?  What I am about to describe is the driving force of why I need to be at those home games.  This thing, IT, by itself, may be as important as the game if not more so (certainly this season).  The Tailgate (capital T) is amazing!  A former co-worker, let's call him R. Keren...no no, too obvious...let's call him Roger K., introduced me to a massive 50-person tailgate diverse in age and economic level, but all as obsessive as I am about the New York Football Giants...and good food.  People are awesome...and we all come to cook.  In fact, we regularly have 2 or 3 professional restauranteurs/chefs cooking with/for us in the lot.  One, in fact, was extremely successful on a cable cooking show, taking the top prize in 2011.  Needless to say, you don't bring hamburgers and hotdogs to a tailgate where professionals in the food industry will be watching.  You bring lobster.  One year, I believe that, of the 8 home games, 2 didn't have lobster.  We lobster raced in the parking lot...then split the bastards with a knife and tossed them onto the grill.  What's better than that?  How about grilled octopus (twice last year) and individual crock pots of french onion soup.  Needless to say, and most importantly, if you want to fit in you've got to bring your "A" game.

Well, a couple years ago, at a game where the Giants would take on the wretched Philadelphia Eagles Game, Brian, at the tailgate, said the most astounding thing: "have a cheese steak, because you have to eat'em to beat'em."   The proverbial light bulb went on in my head...I need to come up with a recipe that is somehow tied to the other team or team's home-town for every home game I attend.  Roger was in, and the Eat'em and Beat'em cook book idea was born.  Since then, Roger and I have researched "typical" or special dishes in the opposing team's cities.  We've prepared smoked-salmon mini quiches for Seattle, fried ravioli for St. Louis, soaked pork medallions in cherry sauce for the Washington Redskins (see what I did there?), and cut the casings, and used the meat in bratwurst for chili against the Green Bay Packers (complete with "squeaky cheese" curd topping imported from a Wisconson dairy farm).  This shit is serious.  So, in the next couple of months, I'll fill you in with what we decided to go with, and I'll provide credit where credit is due for those individuals who helped me/us come up with the recipes.  And, if you've got some connections in the publishing world, now is the time to hook me up.  I figure that the cook-book can only fly with NFL licensing, and that don't come cheap.  Roger's and my goal is to generate a cook-book with a couple of decent recipes for each of the 32 NFL teams which may include an entree/finger food, dessert, and drink.    Maybe all three...maybe two of the three.  He and I have amassed about 25 unique recipes prepared and/or served at games over the course of the last 3 years, so it's coming along. 

THIS WEEK: This weekend the winless New York Giants will be hosting the wretched Philadelphia Eagles.  Logic screams "cheesesteaks" and, don't worry, one of the tailgaters typically buys a fantastic cut of meat, freezes it, shaves paper thin slices off it, and serves it to us on game-day.  Real steak and real cheese.  That base is covered.  This week, I've planned to make Shrimp Salad sliders made from Philadelphia cream cheese, chives, garlic, yellow mustard, celery and carrots to be served on mini pretzel rolls.  Obviously, drink of choice will likely be something brewed from the oldest American brewery: Yuengling.  I prefer the Black and Tan typically, but I anticipate that the tried and true lighter lager will pair nicely with the seafood.  Regarding a dessert, and I won't have the opportunity to make it (though I have the recipe), a pistachio/green cupcake with cream cheese frosting (obviously).  The nicest part of this meal is that 90% of it can be prepared at home.  Chill the shrimp salad the night before and, presto...you'll be able to Eat'em and Beat'em on gameday!  Next week I'll let you know how they went and what's planned for the coming weeks.

I should add the disclaimer that the idea of an NFL-themed Cook Book based on the premise of different recipes for all 32 NFL teams, and the name "Eat'em and Beat'em" are copyrighted by Roger Keren and Herbert Scott August, 2013.    Please note that under U.S. copyright law, my self-published work (the content of this blog) is protected as soon as it's written (i.e. pen to paper). Copyright is based on Roger's and my creative authorship and is not dependent on any formal agreement with a book publisher or self publishing company.  The concept is wholly the brain-child of Roger Keren and myself (with the proper acknowledgments), and that if I see your book with a similar name/theme, prepare yourself for some kind of legal challenge.  But it won't come to that, because you just want to see us succeed, see us interviewed on the Daily Show, and grilling up a storm on the Today Show with Al Roker.

More to come on the successes or failures of the recipes, recipes used in the past, and advancements in this book idea.  HOW EXCITING!  Fuck you Julie and Julia author Julie Powell for making it look so easy to make money off of a food blog!  I love you and hate you.

The system is still failing.

Call it an overreaction, but this month, Sara and I made a family decision to install a home security system.  A lot of thought went into it, but it’s the right decision and we believe it is justified.  So, I ask, as you read this, don’t read into this.  We’re fine.  Our neighborhood make-up hasn’t changed, just the situation; same players but different game.  And, it’s because the system is still failing us.

Why are we still in our house?  Mostly because, due to comps in our neighborhood, we’ve got, how do you say this politely, diminished value on our initial investment.  Despite the fact that the “economy” is on the rise, like many in NJ, we’re flat at best, and declining at worst.  Why?  Foreclosures.  In fact, the house that’s two doors down from us is the most local foreclosure that we have to deal with.  Some history:

In the middle of the summer, the niece of my neighbor told us that the dude who lives two doors down will be incarcerated for armed robbery on August 16.  Right…dude who lent me his leaf blower apparently didn’t want to pay for the goods or cash he was surely borrowing and intended to give back.  I don’t know what the weapon was.  I don’t really care.  I do know that this is still hearsay and gossip and may not be true…except for the fact that he asked me to vouch for his character as a good neighbor.  And I did…I mean the man let me borrow his leaf blower, right?  He’s frequently messed up on something.  I don’t see him with liquor in his hand, but his eyes are just not right.  The niece insists it’s a crack addiction, but I don’t have proof of that.  He did ask me for money and I know I’m not the only one on the block he’s gone to.  I said I was sorry and that I don’t have any money for him.  He said, (high) “Don’t be sorry for what you didn’t do, be sorry for what you didn’t try to do.”  Seriously?  If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black I don’t know what is.

Regardless, dude is still not in jail.  It’s September 24, and my man is still driving around, at least I see his truck moved from one place to another.  I should mention that he’s in that house with his girlfriend and her kids, which prompted my concern.  Because when you look that address up on Zillow it clearly says that the property has been foreclosed on.

What what what was that?  Yep, a bank owns that house, most likely because when dude’s wife split, payments weren’t being made…mostly because my man didn’t have a J-O-B (hence the need to expedite the accrual of finances and goods from unwilling parties through force).  The wife left with the two kids from Georgia, and the new girlfriend moved in a couple of months after that.   I should mention that she (GF) used to live on the other side of me in a rental house that should have fallen into the Earth due to negligence by the landlord.  She was evicted for not paying her bills.  So, now the two lost souls have found each other in a (mostly) rent-free environment because the bank hasn’t changed the locks yet.

And, so, the former owner, his girlfriend and two kids are now squatting in a foreclosed house two doors down from me that’s bringing the overall property value of my house down inhibiting my ability to sell and get the hell out of the neighborhood.

What to do?  First, I really wanted to understand what bank was doing this to me.  What’s the timeline? And, with prodding, can they make the changes to make my problem go away.  Short answer is no…but here’s what I found out and why I think that the system is still failing us. 

A call to the Town indicated that the house mortgage is owned by the Federal National Mortgage Association, a.k.a. Fannie Mae.  Apparently the Philadelphia office was the original lender for the property.  A quick call to the 800 number for Fannie Mae was unproductive.  The most they would confirm is that they had been a lender on the property.  They didn’t know when locks would be changed or if the property would be listed, was listed, etc.  Thanks for nothing.

After hanging up…I realized something, it’s possible that Fannie Mae backed the loan from another institution.  I wrote my friend Julie.  “Dude, can you use your realtor’s license to check out this property.”  She said, “Dude, my license is up, but I can ask a friend.”  I said “Dude. Thanks.”  She said “Dude, no problem.”  A couple of days later Julie’s friend hit pay dirt:  the property is owned by some shit bank in the mid-west.  They put it on the market through Queen City Realty, who (after a phone call to them) recommended that the house be condemned, knocked down, and redeveloped.  They pulled it off the market, set up an auction…again, somewhere in the mid-west, and bought it from themselves for $100.  The bank now owns the property, and, in my estimation, are waiting for the Feds to “back their loan” to whatever the balance is of the mortgage owed before they seize the property and change the locks.  I should add that the representative of that bank was conciliatory on the verge of rude, told me that there’s nothing “we” can do, and that the property wasn’t on their list of foreclosures.  Of course it isn’t, because they own it outright, along with 3 other properties in NJ.  Needless to say that until they collect from Uncle Sam, there’s no impetus for them to act on their purchase, change the locks, and kick the squatters to the curb.  Fuck you very much.

Now, the only other piece of information I got was from a very nice woman at Queen City Realty.  She knew the property and was the agent who made the recommendation to the bank that, in its current state, the property was unlivable.  Uh, red flag?  She said that there was significant water in the basement and that the floorboards all needed to be replaced on the main level and that the house was generally unsafe.  Granted, she’s not a home inspector, and I don’t know what construction-level prowess she has to make that determination, but you have to figure that she’s in a lot of houses and knows a disaster when she sees one.  Great.

So, my concern is two-fold: one, that we can’t get out of this house because of issues like this, and two, there are KIDS living in that house.  So, there’s no good end to this story.  Shit is the same as it ever was.  Same as it ever was.  Convict is roaming.  Girlfriend is living there.  They put FIOS in because her credit must not be as bad as his.  The middle-school latch-key daughter rides her bike around the block for hours after she gets home.  Who knows where her brother is.  A neighbor had to tell her to go home at 10pm one night because she was riding through a local school yard unchaperoned in the dark.  The Police, legally can’t do anything.  Oh yeah, I went to the station to see what could be done.  Short answer is nothing.  Long answer is that they’ll keep an eye on our street and put in a health report that they were tipped off that living conditions at that address were, at best, unhealthy. 

Meanwhile, we have a new security system complete with door sensors and motion detectors.  It works as Sophie the beagle triggered it and I got a call from the monitoring company right away asking if they should notify police.  No, not this time as I knew why it went off.  I’ve since repositioned the sensor so that my couch-potato dog can shift positions on the couch without alerting the authorities.  But, I can’t help but feel like this mortgage crisis isn’t still going on between being underwater on the house and the increase in foreclosed properties (three houses down from mine is another bank-owned and vacant house).  But, we’re fine.  We’re making do.  An Eastern European family bought the house next to us from the slumlord and are fixing it up…at least they’re spending a lot of time inside making it livable.  They’ve got two little girls, one Jude’s age.  So things could be described as almost looking up, or being slightly better.  However, the banks inaction and the institution as a whole treating the issue as insignificant is just upsetting and something else to get used to.  We know people have it worse than us, but, it’s proof that, regardless of the news, the system is still failing, and I’m sure we’re not alone.