The Joke

So, last week was a bit of a downer, but this week, I need to share the joke that I requested from my friend when I was running from Newark to Scotch Plains holding the family together.  But, before I do, this is the kind of ridiculous back-and-forth that every conversation yields with this dude...

Him - Yo fool.  How goes it?

Me - Swell

H - It's been almost 2 weeks since I checked in, but I've been checked out.  Had double hemorrhoidectomy.  

M - I think I need that.  Royal pain in the ass?

H - Seriously, don't do it unless you need it.  So much pain, and 3 month full recovery.  Been out of work 2 weeks and go back on Monday.

M - Wow.  Sucks.  Did you also get an addadictomy?

H - I don't know.  What is that?  Removal of dick?

M - When you add a dick...to me.

H - LOL

M - I'm washing dishes right now but give me an hour and I'll give you a call.

H - Henny Youngman folks, take his wife, please.  Can't, [my wife] has to work at 7 so I have to wash and read and put [the kid] to bed.  Maybe tomorrow?

M - Alright, sounds good.

H - Cool

M - Wait, you can't be on the phone after [said kid] goes to bed?

H - LOL, yes, I guess I'm allowed.

M - No, seriously.  I don't want you breaking any rules.

H - Will call after I put [the kid] to bed.  Dick.

M - You should have have had that procedure. 


I think his wife would have agreed.  Anyway, on to the joke:

A married couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary by having dinner together.  Sitting across from each other, they lock eyes.  He says, "remember 50 years ago how much in love we were?"  She said "Yes" and smiles back.  He said, "remember 50 years ago how we couldn't keep our hands off each other?"  She smiles and says "Yes."  He says, "Remember 50 years ago how we used to get naked?"  She says, "Oh, yes."  He says, "let's do that now."  So, they both disrobe, and she looks at him with a glint and sparkle in her eye and says "My nipples burn for you now just like they did 50 years ago."  He says "No kidding?  One's in your coffee and the other's in your soup!"


I hope that brings as much of a smile to your face as it did for me.