I didn't watch the President in his State of the Union address. And, in hindsight, I'm glad I didn't. Honestly, based on a year's worth of empty rhetoric, it was obvious to me that, no matter what he said, in a week's time, he'll say that he never said those words. His ability to about-face without consequence has been one of the most upsetting components of his "Presidential" style. So, why would I waste 2 hours of my time listening to a man who, when it becomes fashionable, will back-track regardless of the proof otherwise.
Amazingly, I've ready a number of reviews where even the New York Times reported that what he said was mostly true. The economy is roaring. Joblessness rates have fallen. Companies keep chirping about what a great thing the corporate tax break has been, and how they're reinvesting (some) back into their employees. Those are all good things, and, frankly, are largely due to this business-first President.
And then Captain Asshat starts his continued needling of the FBI, this time through Republican agents in Congress with a highly edited memo. Certainly, with the recent resignation of the Deputy Director, and his continued anger that there's even an investigation going on, it makes sense that any opportunity he and his minions get, they'll try to trash the integrity of those, supposedly, standing in his way with a "burn it down" attitude.
Still, I'm troubled with his paranoid assumptions that all existing agencies are skewed against him and his agenda. While it's clear to me that leadership of those agencies under an Obama White House should be replaced by any successor, it's his constant attacks and vitriol against the lower employees, some who have worked efficiently under both Republican and Democratic administrations, that bothers me most. As one who has had to hold his government job under a fiercely Republican governor, my side-jokes aside, I performed just as I did when I worked under a Democratic administration because the law that established my office is just that, the law. The policy changes that occurred during the new administration's were largely financial: we did less because they cut our budget to plug other leaks in the dike. Yes, I didn't agree with the politics of what was happening in my state, but that didn't preclude me from doing my job. If anything, I doubled down to make sure that the mission of the law was being carried forth, to the best of my ability.
I will make the assumption that large numbers of employees of the Federal government who are cogs and not figureheads are doing the same. I get that in this day of social media even those cogs get a say about the policies they may be forced to support, but then it's the directors of those employees to weed out the people who are actually standing in the way of progress...who are proven to be obstructionist and not just because their wife made a donation to the party who lost the election. That's ridiculous.
Without polling anyone, and without knowing actual numbers, I would believe that the majority of employees who work in State and Federal government do so because they want to improve social services for their constituency. That statement alone may be enough for a conservative politician to expect that the world is against him or her. There's no use whining about it. Instead, get your ass in gear to name your appointments that they can then move policy to be in line with the administrative agenda. Don't drag your feet because the more quickly you can install like-minded directors, the more quickly you can have consistency at the governmental level and right the perceived wrongs of your predecessors. Anything less and you're just part of the partisan problem this nation doesn't need at this point in history.
And stop bragging about your Neilson ratings. It's pathetic as much as it's inconsistent with the truth.
Thursday, February 1, 2018
Friday, January 26, 2018
Home remedy
This week was difficult for a number of reasons I've already expressed in direct FaceBook posts. Without going into great detail, I will tell you that I've been able to weather the storm through my usual outlets: family, friends and music.
The well wishing that came out in the past 24 hours has been encouraging. And, thank you for that. Also, our family has been super supportive and understanding. Not everyone's is. And I bought my wife and I two things: tickets to see Keller Williams in Jersey City with friends (more friends) and then a trip for two to the New Orleans French Quarter Festival where I will most certainly gain exactly 13 pounds in mind-numbing oyster and remoulade binges whilst listening to NOLA's best local musicians. I may "Kemit and BBQ" as well. Zydeco and shrimp/alligator cheesecake? What's better than that?
Star Wars is a great teacher of balance and counter balance...the constant tug of power between good and evil, happiness and sadness, etc. We know that, without ruining "The Last Jedi" for the two people who haven't seen it yet (get to a theater you lazy bastards), the Force must be kept in balance. Anakin slaughtered prospective Jedis in the prequels, and Luke's/Kylo's fate in the latest installment once again evened everything out. So, with those life lessons first mentioned in the science-fiction best-seller The Bible, I think that my family and I are overdue for something spectacular. Why? It's been a rough couple of months. Now, if I could only get Rey to learn how to play the accordion. Oh, wait, food, star wars, accordion??? I guess I've got that too.
The well wishing that came out in the past 24 hours has been encouraging. And, thank you for that. Also, our family has been super supportive and understanding. Not everyone's is. And I bought my wife and I two things: tickets to see Keller Williams in Jersey City with friends (more friends) and then a trip for two to the New Orleans French Quarter Festival where I will most certainly gain exactly 13 pounds in mind-numbing oyster and remoulade binges whilst listening to NOLA's best local musicians. I may "Kemit and BBQ" as well. Zydeco and shrimp/alligator cheesecake? What's better than that?
Star Wars is a great teacher of balance and counter balance...the constant tug of power between good and evil, happiness and sadness, etc. We know that, without ruining "The Last Jedi" for the two people who haven't seen it yet (get to a theater you lazy bastards), the Force must be kept in balance. Anakin slaughtered prospective Jedis in the prequels, and Luke's/Kylo's fate in the latest installment once again evened everything out. So, with those life lessons first mentioned in the science-fiction best-seller The Bible, I think that my family and I are overdue for something spectacular. Why? It's been a rough couple of months. Now, if I could only get Rey to learn how to play the accordion. Oh, wait, food, star wars, accordion??? I guess I've got that too.
Thursday, January 18, 2018
The Bucks Stops Here?
FaceBook is good for a lot of things, but advocacy probably isn't one of them. For starters, it's super easy to read a post about some issue that gets people's knickers in a twist and then click a button to "sign" in support or opposition.
People, this isn't helpful.
What happens after you've clicked the link? Most of the time it's out of sight, out of mind. On to the next atrocity. Digital signatures are largely empty without your willingness to take the next step: action.
That said, I'm calling "bologna" (my kid-friendly alternative to BS) on the petition to keep Starbucks coffee out of Yosemite National Park. Um...why? Because they're huge? Because they're synonymous with a consistent cup of coffee nationally and internationally? Is Starbucks the "Walmart" of beverage chains?
I think most signers of the petition see Starbucks as the commercialization of our National Park System. If they allow a Starbucks, people will probably rationalize that a McDonald's can't be too far behind, and Walmart after that. However, if you know a little something about some of our national parks (and I pretend I do) then you also know that some of our most visited parks have food and lodging services contracted out to a large national firm named Xanterra. And, from my experience, they do a damn good job.
Xanterra manages the lodges at eight of our parks: Crater Lake, Death Valley, Glacier, Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, Rocky Mountain, Yellowstone and Zion. The business takes pride in serving these natural wonders and strives to provide excellent service without sacrificing the environment. How so? Soaps left in lodge rooms is biodegradable. They actively recycle and promote water use responsibility. The provide a host of products and food that is organic and sustainable. I mean, for an American hotel chain, they do more than a decent job.
Oh, and they try to, at the same time, provide some of the comforts of home, which includes beverage choices such as S. Pellegrino water, name brand juices, Coors Light, Sam Adams, Blue Moon, Sierra Nevada, and Stella Artois. As for the coffee offerings, you have, in many locations, Peet's. Don't get me wrong, Peet's Coffee has around 240 locations earning approximately $800 million (2016) per year. Starbucks dwarfs that with 22,000 stores and profits of $17 Billion with a "B." But, one could argue that both have strong philanthropic arms to help sustain an industry that depends on high environmental quality to ensure consistency across their many locations. Yes, Starbucks is bigger, but at revenues that top $800 million, Peet's is plenty big. Comparatively, $800 million is similar to the New York Times, Groupon, and what Star Wars, The Last Jedi pulled in for their first two weeks. This is real money.
All said and done, Starbucks in a National Park wouldn't be the end of the world, just a continuation of trends in our National Park system where these environmental locales strive not only to get you to visit, but to stay and spend some money too. And, if there are products you're already familiar with which would make your stay more pleasurable, then consider the value added vs. immediately assuming that household brands might ruin your experience. And leave your Crest 3D White Toothpaste at home. Those beads are terrible for the environment.
People, this isn't helpful.
What happens after you've clicked the link? Most of the time it's out of sight, out of mind. On to the next atrocity. Digital signatures are largely empty without your willingness to take the next step: action.
That said, I'm calling "bologna" (my kid-friendly alternative to BS) on the petition to keep Starbucks coffee out of Yosemite National Park. Um...why? Because they're huge? Because they're synonymous with a consistent cup of coffee nationally and internationally? Is Starbucks the "Walmart" of beverage chains?
I think most signers of the petition see Starbucks as the commercialization of our National Park System. If they allow a Starbucks, people will probably rationalize that a McDonald's can't be too far behind, and Walmart after that. However, if you know a little something about some of our national parks (and I pretend I do) then you also know that some of our most visited parks have food and lodging services contracted out to a large national firm named Xanterra. And, from my experience, they do a damn good job.
Xanterra manages the lodges at eight of our parks: Crater Lake, Death Valley, Glacier, Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, Rocky Mountain, Yellowstone and Zion. The business takes pride in serving these natural wonders and strives to provide excellent service without sacrificing the environment. How so? Soaps left in lodge rooms is biodegradable. They actively recycle and promote water use responsibility. The provide a host of products and food that is organic and sustainable. I mean, for an American hotel chain, they do more than a decent job.
Oh, and they try to, at the same time, provide some of the comforts of home, which includes beverage choices such as S. Pellegrino water, name brand juices, Coors Light, Sam Adams, Blue Moon, Sierra Nevada, and Stella Artois. As for the coffee offerings, you have, in many locations, Peet's. Don't get me wrong, Peet's Coffee has around 240 locations earning approximately $800 million (2016) per year. Starbucks dwarfs that with 22,000 stores and profits of $17 Billion with a "B." But, one could argue that both have strong philanthropic arms to help sustain an industry that depends on high environmental quality to ensure consistency across their many locations. Yes, Starbucks is bigger, but at revenues that top $800 million, Peet's is plenty big. Comparatively, $800 million is similar to the New York Times, Groupon, and what Star Wars, The Last Jedi pulled in for their first two weeks. This is real money.
All said and done, Starbucks in a National Park wouldn't be the end of the world, just a continuation of trends in our National Park system where these environmental locales strive not only to get you to visit, but to stay and spend some money too. And, if there are products you're already familiar with which would make your stay more pleasurable, then consider the value added vs. immediately assuming that household brands might ruin your experience. And leave your Crest 3D White Toothpaste at home. Those beads are terrible for the environment.
Friday, January 12, 2018
Economic Ebb and Flow
Look, there is a natural ebb and flow of jobs in the United States when you approach January 1st. There's tax incentive to tidy up your employee base before the beginning of a new year...so that you don't have to deal with it over the course of multiple returns.
However, the President couldn't have been happier when corporate announcements began to be reported: AT&T is going to give up to $1,000 bonuses to around 200,000 employees in response to the generous tax cut their receiving from the Federal government. Similarly, this week, Walmart has indicated that they will be raising the minimum hourly wage AND giving out up to $1,000 merit-based bonuses. That's not all! CNN is reporting that Comcast, Boeing and Wells Fargo will be passing on some of their newfound wealth to their employees as a result of the new tax legislation.
But all is not how it seems. Let's take them one by one.
AT&T, as it's widely been reported, has recently laid off 2,000 employees. Some of them were from DirecTV where there may have been redundancies. There were over 200 "highly skilled" technicians from the south who were handed pink slips. And, there were others, but, using averages provided by GlassDoor.com, with lay-offs alone, the company just saved over $90 million to use for their newly announced bonus program.
Walmart, who owns Sam's Club, just surprised the business world by announcing the closing of 63 stores which employ, roughly, 175 employees. Granted, some may be reshuffled, but the lowest paid employees at Sam's will likely not be. Back of the envelope numbers suggests that over 11,000 Walmart employees just, suddenly, lost their jobs.
At Boeing in Seattle, over the course of 2017, 1,800 employees who would have been fired took buy-outs, and another 800 were laid off.
Comcast just laid off 500 employees, yes, a drop in the bucket...unless you're one of the 500.
Wells Fargo just laid off 5,300 employees. Don't worry, they're bolstering their office in the Philippines, which went from a meager 100 employees to 4,000 in the past 6 years.
Business is business, and, frequently, jobs added don't make the headlines. However, it seems to be a trend with the companies who have announced how good they're about to be to their employee base. Before we credit the Federal government with creating an economic boon, consider those not reported in last month's unemployment statistics, which, economists agree, isn't the end-all be-all measure of a healthy economy. Also consider those who stopped looking for work (i.e. early retiring Baby Boomers), who are on the verge of over-taxing our pension and entitlement programs just due to sheer volume.
It may be easy for a conservative to point out that "hey, you Dems aren't even happy when things are great, just because he's not who you voted for...snowflake!" Yes, minimum wage increases and tax law-related bonuses are just part of the whole picture, and before we point out how peripherally beneficial the new tax law is, we need to understand the full stories around those companies and their one-off PR power play.
If the headlines next Christmas indicate that more $1,000 bonuses are being given, well, I'll be happy to be wrong.
However, the President couldn't have been happier when corporate announcements began to be reported: AT&T is going to give up to $1,000 bonuses to around 200,000 employees in response to the generous tax cut their receiving from the Federal government. Similarly, this week, Walmart has indicated that they will be raising the minimum hourly wage AND giving out up to $1,000 merit-based bonuses. That's not all! CNN is reporting that Comcast, Boeing and Wells Fargo will be passing on some of their newfound wealth to their employees as a result of the new tax legislation.
But all is not how it seems. Let's take them one by one.
AT&T, as it's widely been reported, has recently laid off 2,000 employees. Some of them were from DirecTV where there may have been redundancies. There were over 200 "highly skilled" technicians from the south who were handed pink slips. And, there were others, but, using averages provided by GlassDoor.com, with lay-offs alone, the company just saved over $90 million to use for their newly announced bonus program.
Walmart, who owns Sam's Club, just surprised the business world by announcing the closing of 63 stores which employ, roughly, 175 employees. Granted, some may be reshuffled, but the lowest paid employees at Sam's will likely not be. Back of the envelope numbers suggests that over 11,000 Walmart employees just, suddenly, lost their jobs.
At Boeing in Seattle, over the course of 2017, 1,800 employees who would have been fired took buy-outs, and another 800 were laid off.
Comcast just laid off 500 employees, yes, a drop in the bucket...unless you're one of the 500.
Wells Fargo just laid off 5,300 employees. Don't worry, they're bolstering their office in the Philippines, which went from a meager 100 employees to 4,000 in the past 6 years.
Business is business, and, frequently, jobs added don't make the headlines. However, it seems to be a trend with the companies who have announced how good they're about to be to their employee base. Before we credit the Federal government with creating an economic boon, consider those not reported in last month's unemployment statistics, which, economists agree, isn't the end-all be-all measure of a healthy economy. Also consider those who stopped looking for work (i.e. early retiring Baby Boomers), who are on the verge of over-taxing our pension and entitlement programs just due to sheer volume.
It may be easy for a conservative to point out that "hey, you Dems aren't even happy when things are great, just because he's not who you voted for...snowflake!" Yes, minimum wage increases and tax law-related bonuses are just part of the whole picture, and before we point out how peripherally beneficial the new tax law is, we need to understand the full stories around those companies and their one-off PR power play.
If the headlines next Christmas indicate that more $1,000 bonuses are being given, well, I'll be happy to be wrong.
Friday, January 5, 2018
Someone Else's Music
I can't seem to find it. I thought I had written extensively about Phish in past posts. I guess not, so, at the risk of repeating myself, at the risk of repeating myself, here's the skinny:
There was no way I was going to spend money on the band. In 2003, a great friend from high school (Shaggy) had two interests: the now defunct Palmyra Tea Room that used to be in Bound Brook, and this hippy band Phish. Like devotees of the Grateful Dead, Shaggy would hoof it to the surrounding states in order to see multiple shows at a single venue. It was strange. I mean, at that time, I loved music, and had seen my fair share of "jam bands" like Santana and the Allman Brothers, but you knew, from year to year, you were going to see the hits...and the novelty of seeing a band that was supposedly improvisation/experimentation personified, wore off...especially when, back-to-back years they played nearly the same set. Yawn. Then, my girlfriend bought me a ticket.
She said, (and I'm paraphrasing), "Sweetness, this band, Phish, is the bees knees and I used to follow them, and it's 2003, and they're coming to the Jerz, and we're getting lawn seats with my friend, and maybe your obsessed friend Shaggy will be there too." Where is it, I asked? "Camden," she said. We lived in Montclair. An effing long haul. What's the weather going to be? It's going to pour. Great. And, I didn't know any of their music. I told her that, unless the band played someone else's music, this would be the first, and last show of theirs I saw. She didn't care.
We met her friend in the parking lot. I think the friend trucked in from NY State...with her dog. Stupid children were doing whippets a couple of cars away. Drugs were apparent. Authorities didn't care. Pre-show was already living up to my low expectations. I donned a rather unflattering plastic poncho from Sears. It was starting to drizzle. Once in the venue, and sufficiently buzzed (don't ask), the band started playing. And they were good. First observations were that they were super talented. Guitarist's fingers were moving quite fast a la Zappa...well, maybe not that good, but good enough. Tunes were varied and long. We had met up with Shaggy who was getting drenched with us in the grass. He gave me a play-by-play, Phish for beginners, explanation of each song. It was immediately clear to me that he wasn't the only obsessed fan. The show was good...the lights were amazing, and then came the encore: Frankenstein by Edgar Winters, i.e. someone else's music.
On New Year's Eve, 2017, My now-wife and I met up with Shaggy pre-show, which was number 35 for me, and 137 for Shaggy (wife doesn't keep record, but I'm sure she's in and around 100 shows). I had already met up with him the night before for that show, but NYE was the biggie of the run. On New Year's they play 3-sets instead of two, and the evening typically features a ridiculous stunt or gag between the second and third sets, just around midnight. By some strange coincidence Shaggy's seats were in the same row as ours...the next section over...about 10 seats away. Or maybe it's not coincidence...the night before I knew the people behind me, met them over 10 years ago...and others in my section...and bumped into an ex-co-worker who had his seats in the next section over with his very pregnant wife. I rode the train home with friends from college...and Shaggy. Chalk it up to Phish magic. But NYE was incredible. They played (mostly) songs I knew. The fans were ridiculously enthusiastic. The stunt was tech heavy (you know I love my tech). Everyone was in a great mood, the show flew by (from 8:30p-1:15a), they encored with our wedding song, and, at the end, I was ready for another set.
It was exactly what I needed. The news this year has been dismal. Environmental regulations evaporating. Taxes going up. Property values potentially going down. National Monuments shrinking. Global Warming (it's a real thing), and women's rights, and #metoo, and the 2017 list goes on and on. I desperately needed a break, and Phish was that break. Their music isn't overtly political unless you read way too deeply into it, so there was no potential for reminders of what was happening in the outside world. It was just fantastic that me and my 21,000 friends were able to recharge for 4 days before Washington's Captain Idiot and the Hatchetmen (might steal that as the new name for my band) got back to his work challenging things I hold dear and appreciate.
Phish wasn't what I wanted, but in the 15 years I've been following them, they are what I need from time to time. It's January of 2018, and I want to wish you a happy new year, and hope that, in the past week, you had your moment of distraction from reality, enough to recharge your batteries so that you can accomplish everything you want/need to. If not, no worries, I hear that the band is planning a summer festival at Watkins Glen, NY. See you there. And, if it's your first time, maybe they'll play someone else's music.
There was no way I was going to spend money on the band. In 2003, a great friend from high school (Shaggy) had two interests: the now defunct Palmyra Tea Room that used to be in Bound Brook, and this hippy band Phish. Like devotees of the Grateful Dead, Shaggy would hoof it to the surrounding states in order to see multiple shows at a single venue. It was strange. I mean, at that time, I loved music, and had seen my fair share of "jam bands" like Santana and the Allman Brothers, but you knew, from year to year, you were going to see the hits...and the novelty of seeing a band that was supposedly improvisation/experimentation personified, wore off...especially when, back-to-back years they played nearly the same set. Yawn. Then, my girlfriend bought me a ticket.
She said, (and I'm paraphrasing), "Sweetness, this band, Phish, is the bees knees and I used to follow them, and it's 2003, and they're coming to the Jerz, and we're getting lawn seats with my friend, and maybe your obsessed friend Shaggy will be there too." Where is it, I asked? "Camden," she said. We lived in Montclair. An effing long haul. What's the weather going to be? It's going to pour. Great. And, I didn't know any of their music. I told her that, unless the band played someone else's music, this would be the first, and last show of theirs I saw. She didn't care.
We met her friend in the parking lot. I think the friend trucked in from NY State...with her dog. Stupid children were doing whippets a couple of cars away. Drugs were apparent. Authorities didn't care. Pre-show was already living up to my low expectations. I donned a rather unflattering plastic poncho from Sears. It was starting to drizzle. Once in the venue, and sufficiently buzzed (don't ask), the band started playing. And they were good. First observations were that they were super talented. Guitarist's fingers were moving quite fast a la Zappa...well, maybe not that good, but good enough. Tunes were varied and long. We had met up with Shaggy who was getting drenched with us in the grass. He gave me a play-by-play, Phish for beginners, explanation of each song. It was immediately clear to me that he wasn't the only obsessed fan. The show was good...the lights were amazing, and then came the encore: Frankenstein by Edgar Winters, i.e. someone else's music.
On New Year's Eve, 2017, My now-wife and I met up with Shaggy pre-show, which was number 35 for me, and 137 for Shaggy (wife doesn't keep record, but I'm sure she's in and around 100 shows). I had already met up with him the night before for that show, but NYE was the biggie of the run. On New Year's they play 3-sets instead of two, and the evening typically features a ridiculous stunt or gag between the second and third sets, just around midnight. By some strange coincidence Shaggy's seats were in the same row as ours...the next section over...about 10 seats away. Or maybe it's not coincidence...the night before I knew the people behind me, met them over 10 years ago...and others in my section...and bumped into an ex-co-worker who had his seats in the next section over with his very pregnant wife. I rode the train home with friends from college...and Shaggy. Chalk it up to Phish magic. But NYE was incredible. They played (mostly) songs I knew. The fans were ridiculously enthusiastic. The stunt was tech heavy (you know I love my tech). Everyone was in a great mood, the show flew by (from 8:30p-1:15a), they encored with our wedding song, and, at the end, I was ready for another set.
It was exactly what I needed. The news this year has been dismal. Environmental regulations evaporating. Taxes going up. Property values potentially going down. National Monuments shrinking. Global Warming (it's a real thing), and women's rights, and #metoo, and the 2017 list goes on and on. I desperately needed a break, and Phish was that break. Their music isn't overtly political unless you read way too deeply into it, so there was no potential for reminders of what was happening in the outside world. It was just fantastic that me and my 21,000 friends were able to recharge for 4 days before Washington's Captain Idiot and the Hatchetmen (might steal that as the new name for my band) got back to his work challenging things I hold dear and appreciate.
Phish wasn't what I wanted, but in the 15 years I've been following them, they are what I need from time to time. It's January of 2018, and I want to wish you a happy new year, and hope that, in the past week, you had your moment of distraction from reality, enough to recharge your batteries so that you can accomplish everything you want/need to. If not, no worries, I hear that the band is planning a summer festival at Watkins Glen, NY. See you there. And, if it's your first time, maybe they'll play someone else's music.
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
Reconsiderations
Over the last month, momentum has picked up by my classmates who graduated with me in 1993 from high school, to hold a 25th anniversary reunion. I got invited by some of the FaceBook group organizers to join the group so that I didn't miss out on planning updates. It was kind of exciting to see familiar faces (albeit older) file in to this virtual meeting place, many of them I hadn't friended either because we weren't close in high school, or because I just forgot that they were part of my life for four years.
I would like to think I got along with most of my classmates even though I was a year younger than the majority of them. The thought of reconnecting in the real world was both intriguing and scary. Is this something I would like to do? I keep in decent touch with a number of friends from that time in my life thanks to FaceBook, so I don't really feel like I don't make an effort. This reunion would just, potentially, increase the number of people "friending" me, but probably wouldn't amount to any significant reconnections.
And then, today, there was a post about a boy who died while we were in school together. If I remember correctly, the story was that he was in a car, filled with others our age, being driven by a teenager, that was speeding down a road until it hit a speed bump and launched itself into a phone pole. And that was that. I don't remember if the other boys died too. I do remember him though. Why? He bullied me terribly my freshman year, specifically in gym class. As I said, I was smaller and younger than most around me. I tried to avoid him, but when he and his friends needed a laugh, they would "catch" me and put me into any number of WWF wrestling moves: suplex, body slam, etc. on the mats in the weight room. It was extremely painful, and relentless for about four consecutive weeks when the teacher allowed students to do free lifting, largely unsupervised.
The post today spoke about honoring him with a tribute at the reunion. At least 30 or so people in this FB group immediately wrote about how much they missed him...and how many good times they had with him in elementary, middle school and high school. All I can think about is how horrible he was to me and how I haven't gotten over the abuse I took during that relatively short time where our paths crossed. I've mentioned this story to two or three others who knew us both over the years, but never had any real need to take it further than that. I mean, the place in the Venn diagram where this information is even relevant is so infinitesimally small that there was (nearly) literally no one who could relate. Until now.
Instinct is screaming for me to write how negatively he impacted my life and my memories of him in that group. Luckily, judgement is keeping me from writing anything ill of the long deceased. What good would it do? I'm sure I'm not the only one who he treated like this. Writing that group with my thoughts would clearly alienate me amongst the group. Any tribute to this boy at our reunion is enough to keep me away from it...and that's probably what I will wind up doing. FaceBook has facilitated my ability to rebuild connections with the people I cared about in high school. For those not on FB, I've also re-found long lost friends on Instagram and Linked-In. I don't need this reunion. I don't need those memories.
And, this must be what it feels like for all of those women who have come out indicating that they too were assaulted. In my case, it's really easy to justify staying quiet. My aggressor has long been dead. For the women coming out and indicating that they were unfairly taken advantage of, the public court of judgement is still out. The potential for ridicule and embarrassment is tremendous. I didn't intentionally write this post so that it could tie in to what is happening now, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt that there was overlap. What many of those women have experienced is magnitudes more severe than what happened to me, and we as a society need to be addressing this with open ears and open minds.
This isn't to say that you should immediately believe everything you hear. However, ask yourself "by coming forward with their stories, what is it that they hope to gain?" For me, I just wanted the people who are actively eulogizing this boy to know that there was another side, a side that inflicted both physical and emotional scars that have lasted 25 years. I want them to understand. However, it's not like I could get him removed from the group or fired or prosecuted. I just wanted them to know my story, my experience, before they make up their minds...just as the majority of woman who have been coming forward with "allegations" of sexual assault. They aren't doing so for financial or political gain. They just want you to know about their experience with people who get off on hurting others with their power. Whether it's their physical size, or the position they hold, these power-play acts are unacceptable.
Due to a peripherally related unfortunate event, I feel strongly that these stories need to be told and that society needs to right itself and breed out the brutal machinations and patterns of abuse. I, for one, am listening.
I would like to think I got along with most of my classmates even though I was a year younger than the majority of them. The thought of reconnecting in the real world was both intriguing and scary. Is this something I would like to do? I keep in decent touch with a number of friends from that time in my life thanks to FaceBook, so I don't really feel like I don't make an effort. This reunion would just, potentially, increase the number of people "friending" me, but probably wouldn't amount to any significant reconnections.
And then, today, there was a post about a boy who died while we were in school together. If I remember correctly, the story was that he was in a car, filled with others our age, being driven by a teenager, that was speeding down a road until it hit a speed bump and launched itself into a phone pole. And that was that. I don't remember if the other boys died too. I do remember him though. Why? He bullied me terribly my freshman year, specifically in gym class. As I said, I was smaller and younger than most around me. I tried to avoid him, but when he and his friends needed a laugh, they would "catch" me and put me into any number of WWF wrestling moves: suplex, body slam, etc. on the mats in the weight room. It was extremely painful, and relentless for about four consecutive weeks when the teacher allowed students to do free lifting, largely unsupervised.
The post today spoke about honoring him with a tribute at the reunion. At least 30 or so people in this FB group immediately wrote about how much they missed him...and how many good times they had with him in elementary, middle school and high school. All I can think about is how horrible he was to me and how I haven't gotten over the abuse I took during that relatively short time where our paths crossed. I've mentioned this story to two or three others who knew us both over the years, but never had any real need to take it further than that. I mean, the place in the Venn diagram where this information is even relevant is so infinitesimally small that there was (nearly) literally no one who could relate. Until now.
Instinct is screaming for me to write how negatively he impacted my life and my memories of him in that group. Luckily, judgement is keeping me from writing anything ill of the long deceased. What good would it do? I'm sure I'm not the only one who he treated like this. Writing that group with my thoughts would clearly alienate me amongst the group. Any tribute to this boy at our reunion is enough to keep me away from it...and that's probably what I will wind up doing. FaceBook has facilitated my ability to rebuild connections with the people I cared about in high school. For those not on FB, I've also re-found long lost friends on Instagram and Linked-In. I don't need this reunion. I don't need those memories.
And, this must be what it feels like for all of those women who have come out indicating that they too were assaulted. In my case, it's really easy to justify staying quiet. My aggressor has long been dead. For the women coming out and indicating that they were unfairly taken advantage of, the public court of judgement is still out. The potential for ridicule and embarrassment is tremendous. I didn't intentionally write this post so that it could tie in to what is happening now, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt that there was overlap. What many of those women have experienced is magnitudes more severe than what happened to me, and we as a society need to be addressing this with open ears and open minds.
This isn't to say that you should immediately believe everything you hear. However, ask yourself "by coming forward with their stories, what is it that they hope to gain?" For me, I just wanted the people who are actively eulogizing this boy to know that there was another side, a side that inflicted both physical and emotional scars that have lasted 25 years. I want them to understand. However, it's not like I could get him removed from the group or fired or prosecuted. I just wanted them to know my story, my experience, before they make up their minds...just as the majority of woman who have been coming forward with "allegations" of sexual assault. They aren't doing so for financial or political gain. They just want you to know about their experience with people who get off on hurting others with their power. Whether it's their physical size, or the position they hold, these power-play acts are unacceptable.
Due to a peripherally related unfortunate event, I feel strongly that these stories need to be told and that society needs to right itself and breed out the brutal machinations and patterns of abuse. I, for one, am listening.
Friday, December 8, 2017
It's not a war
Let me be clear, there's no war on Christmas.
I've seen this claim on bumper stickers and headlines about politicians and evangelicals calling out majors enterprises who use "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." The President has made comments about it's resurrection after decades of supposed obscurity:
"Remember I said we're bringing Christmas back? Christmas is back, bigger and better than ever before. We're bringing Christmas back."
And, he's not the only one who believes that it's been missing. My question is, where do people like this think it's gone?
The President hails from New York, and I can't think of any one place more in tune with the season than Manhattan. It starts with the Thanksgiving Day Parade (affectionately called the 'Macy's Day Parade' in my house) where the event is capped with Santa Claus as the official end of the parade...every year since 1924! Technically, Santa was crowned "King of the Kiddies" in 1924 and was permanently stationed at 34th street; he didn't march...but that's semantics.
It's been long known that Thanksgiving officially begins the Christmas season, though stores begin prepping for it as soon as the Halloween rush is over on November 1st. That said, store-fronts all across the United States begin their holiday push by decorating every inch in Christmas-specific decorations. Up and down 5th Avenue in New York, the major department stores provide Christmas-centric themed decorative windows to both advertise their wares as well as dazzle passers-by with (now) feats of technologically assisted stories full of animatronic characters and special effects.
But, that's just New York. I dare you to walk into any chain retail store or restaurant where Christmas music isn't blaring. I dare you to shop on the Internet without seeing Christmas-inspired advertisements. I dare you to turn on your TV without seeing Christmas specials, or decorations on morning talk-shows or commercial after commercial for the previously mentioned retail stores. It's impossible to escape.
Now, what the President and people like him are likely referencing in their belief that there's a war on Christmas is that many large institutions have taken to wishing people a Happy Holidays instead of a Merry Christmas. Duh. Multi-national corporations, who want to appeal to people of varied ethnicities, will and should adopt a generic holiday greeting so as to not exclude anyone. It's called capitalism. Also, as a method of cost savings, it makes the most sense to have this phrase on products that cross into regions where Christianity isn't the dominant religion. Again, see Capitalism: 101.
As a Jew, I appreciate it when a person doesn’t immediately think I celebrate Christ. I respect others holidays, but, as previously stated, we minorities can’t easily escape the capitalistic juggernaut that is Christmas. It’s nice to know that many of our neighbors and friends respect us enough to not further shove it down our throats when they wish us a "Happy Holidays." I love how impassioned people can get about the Christmas holiday, but as you weigh the war on Christmas, remember that there are many holidays this time of year. Out of respect, I believe it's appropriate to wish you a "Happy Holidays" regardless of your level of faith. That way, you can take it to mean whatever it means to you, and celebrate the concept and intention of well wishing to the fullest...because maybe, just maybe, nobody is waging a war on your belief system. It's quite possible that they're merely trying to be kind and compassionate, and hope that you too will have a very healthy and happy holiday season, however you choose to celebrate it.
I've seen this claim on bumper stickers and headlines about politicians and evangelicals calling out majors enterprises who use "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." The President has made comments about it's resurrection after decades of supposed obscurity:
"Remember I said we're bringing Christmas back? Christmas is back, bigger and better than ever before. We're bringing Christmas back."
And, he's not the only one who believes that it's been missing. My question is, where do people like this think it's gone?
The President hails from New York, and I can't think of any one place more in tune with the season than Manhattan. It starts with the Thanksgiving Day Parade (affectionately called the 'Macy's Day Parade' in my house) where the event is capped with Santa Claus as the official end of the parade...every year since 1924! Technically, Santa was crowned "King of the Kiddies" in 1924 and was permanently stationed at 34th street; he didn't march...but that's semantics.
It's been long known that Thanksgiving officially begins the Christmas season, though stores begin prepping for it as soon as the Halloween rush is over on November 1st. That said, store-fronts all across the United States begin their holiday push by decorating every inch in Christmas-specific decorations. Up and down 5th Avenue in New York, the major department stores provide Christmas-centric themed decorative windows to both advertise their wares as well as dazzle passers-by with (now) feats of technologically assisted stories full of animatronic characters and special effects.
But, that's just New York. I dare you to walk into any chain retail store or restaurant where Christmas music isn't blaring. I dare you to shop on the Internet without seeing Christmas-inspired advertisements. I dare you to turn on your TV without seeing Christmas specials, or decorations on morning talk-shows or commercial after commercial for the previously mentioned retail stores. It's impossible to escape.
Now, what the President and people like him are likely referencing in their belief that there's a war on Christmas is that many large institutions have taken to wishing people a Happy Holidays instead of a Merry Christmas. Duh. Multi-national corporations, who want to appeal to people of varied ethnicities, will and should adopt a generic holiday greeting so as to not exclude anyone. It's called capitalism. Also, as a method of cost savings, it makes the most sense to have this phrase on products that cross into regions where Christianity isn't the dominant religion. Again, see Capitalism: 101.
As a Jew, I appreciate it when a person doesn’t immediately think I celebrate Christ. I respect others holidays, but, as previously stated, we minorities can’t easily escape the capitalistic juggernaut that is Christmas. It’s nice to know that many of our neighbors and friends respect us enough to not further shove it down our throats when they wish us a "Happy Holidays." I love how impassioned people can get about the Christmas holiday, but as you weigh the war on Christmas, remember that there are many holidays this time of year. Out of respect, I believe it's appropriate to wish you a "Happy Holidays" regardless of your level of faith. That way, you can take it to mean whatever it means to you, and celebrate the concept and intention of well wishing to the fullest...because maybe, just maybe, nobody is waging a war on your belief system. It's quite possible that they're merely trying to be kind and compassionate, and hope that you too will have a very healthy and happy holiday season, however you choose to celebrate it.
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