Loser

I’ve been a loser for a long time now.  I have a collection of Legos from when I was in my single digits.  I’ve got a healthy obsession with sci-fi books, puns, and video games.  I’ve played Dungeons & Dragons…but preferred lesser known role-playing-games (before computers).  I love computers and technology…and most of all, I love Star Wars.  I’d say that I’ve got a fairly good track record at being a loser.

This has somewhat translated into a number of pastimes I’ve gotten myself into in the last 10 years or so.  One is photography.  I think I’ve done fairly well with that in my transition from nerd loser to art loser.  It gently ties “aspiring artist” with “die-hard technophile” as my collection has evolved from owning the camera and its components to using a digital dark room to post process…and needing a more high-powered device for which to do that on. 

And, then there’s Fantasy Football.  I’m already a NY Giants devotee.  Thanks to computer tracking of stats, I’m also now completely obsessed with other team’s games, injuries to every player, and the complementary software which I MUST have installed (and check regularly) on my iPhone.  God help the dudes (or computer) at Yahoo that feeds my app the stats…because I tend to get impatient when watching a game, seeing a play that got me points, and then not immediately see it show up on my app.

Oh, and I frequently lose.  This year more than most.  Which makes for a cranky me…especially when the Giants lose.  So, why am I surprised that, as my son plays his soccer game, anything other than a perceived win is greeted with angst, crying, upset, irrational attitude?  It’s difficult imbuing a child with winning aspirations and the logic of “it’s OK to want to win, but it’s also OK to lose.”

I blame myself.  I blame video games.  I blame our culture that has nothing better to do with its vast wealth than stuff it into the pockets of 1,700 professional athletes for 17 weeks from September to December…and then another month on top of that if, god forbid, they win a lot.  So, I’m trying to tone it down.  I’ve been watching Giants games with the boy, and trying harder not to evoke the immense sadness I get when the team that I’m deeply emotionally and financially invested in doesn’t perform to spec.  Why?  Because, he’s a human sponge.  And, at this age, he needs to start learning that, while it’s great to win, it’s also OK to lose.  And, if his life’s misery is exclusively tied to professional sports losses…then he’s had a pretty fantastic life.

Embrace your inner loser (for some of us it’s easier than others), and teach the mantra that losing while trying is perfectly OK.  Were this widely accepted and applied, the world would be a better place.