A Happy Happy

I can't tell, but I think there are about 4 or 5 regular readers of my blog.  But, for those reading this, I want to wish you a Happy Christmas.  If you don't celebrate Christmas, have the best Wednesday you can possibly have.  Whichever way your pleasure tends, enjoy or not, and we'll catch you next week.  Time to start new and fresh, and to roll away the dew.

I'll tell you where the four winds dwell
In Franklin's tower there hangs a bell
It can ring, turn night to day
It can ring like fire when you lose your way.
God save the child that rings that bell
It may have one good ring, baby, you can't tell
One watch by night, one watch by day
If you get confused listen to the music play.
Some come to laugh their past away,
Some come to make it just one more day.
Whichever way your pleasure tends
If you plant ice you're gonna harvest the wind.
In Franklin's tower the four winds sleep
Like four lean hounds the lighthouse keep
Wildflower seed on the sand and wind
May the four winds blow you home again.
You've got to roll away the dew.

Guests that don't leave

Normally I am not a violent man.  But, I've been on a murderous killing spree for the last week, and I don't intend on stopping until the job is done.  No, not video game death...actual death.  But, I digress. Some background:

My office has one wall that contains 5-foot windows which allow an inordinate amount of sun in our office for most of the day.  It's largely indirect sunlight, but it does keep the office I share with a co-worker, well lit.  When a friend left his position here for greener pastures, he donated one of his geranium's to my plant collection.  I already had a snake plant (mother-in-law's tongue) and a sad, root-bound rubber tree plant.  The geranium immediately started flowering as if to say "thank you."  It was about the same time that the snake plant bloomed!  I had never seen one go to flower so this was a pretty encouraging event that I was doing something "right."


Not wanting to neglect the rubber tree, I made plans to trim and re-pot it so that it too could be as happy as the others.  I brought in a half used bag of potting soil from home, and did the transfer here in my office.  It grew new roots and I thought that everything was hunky dory.  That is, until THEY came.

According to Wikipedia:

Fungus gnats are small, dark, short-lived flies, of the families Sciaridae, Diadocidiidae, Ditomyiidae, Keroplatidae, Bolitophilidae, and Mycetophilidae (order Diptera); they are sometimes placed in the superfamily Mycetophiloidea.
The larvae of fungus gnats feed on plant roots and fungi, which aids in the decomposition of organic matter. The adults are 2–5 mm long and are important pollinators that can help spread mushroom spores as well as plant pollen.

Great...but what are they doing in my rubber tree plant???  The answer is, most obviously, eating.  Eating something. 

Well, for a while I was just swatting the ones that got too close to my monitor.  When it started to seem like an exercise in futility, I decided to dry-starve the plant in hopes that the fungus/mold they were eating would be done.  I haven't watered the plant in about 3 weeks and still they come.

It was time to take action. 

In wanting to be sensitive to our respiratory systems, I didn't really want to use a spray pesticide.  I've used them in the past, but the concentration typically does damage to the leaves and plant in general.  So, I went with gnat traps.  And, woh, they've been very successful, but apparently I had a far larger infestation problem than I had originally thought.

With that kind of volume, I know that this will be less of a battle and more of a war.  There will be casualties on both sides, but I fully intend on winning!  Also, while I've separated this plant from the others (not that the gnats can't fly to my other plants, duh), I'm not afraid to go the thermonuclear option and pull the trigger on the entire operation.  Yes...I'll trash the rubber tree if, after I've run through the sticky traps, I can't get rid of these things.  I've had the plant for over 10 years, and while it will be sad and hard to say goodbye, the option must remain on the table!  We're on day 4 and it's not looking promising, but I assure you... I...WILL...NOT...FAIL!

Anyway, let me know if you have any better solutions...but I warn you...time is running out, especially for ideas...but especially for them!

Sorry dudes, he's human too.

Glenn Beck (and his right-wing Republican following) jumped all over the President for taking a picture with Denmark's Prime Minister Helle Thorning Schmidt and British Prime Minister David Cameron.  It was an unfortunate moment in time as some photog got an image of them appearing to pose for a self-portrait.  We don't know at what point in the ceremony this was.  We don't know how many other world leaders were having discussions away from the main presentation.  All we know is that the right-winger's in this country took this as a sign of the apocalypse.  And, their sheep following jumped right on board the band-wagon.  Below is someone who I know from high school and like-minded individuals commenting on Glenn Beck's take (photo caption leads the discussion).  I had enough.

The height of arrogance? President Obama caught snapping selfies at Nelson Mandela service

glennbeck.com

“No, he’s not that stupid. He’s not that stupid. He is that arrogant."

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Conservative Nutcase #1 It's Awful! 

Conservative Nutcase #2 Who expects anything better from this jack-A! 

Conservative Nutcase #3 Michelle looked pissed. Barack thought he was back in college spitting game at a white woman 

Conservative Nutcase #4 Obamanation. What a baffoon!  

Conservative Nutcase Ground Zero (original poster) I can't wait to see them try to explain this one away! 

Conservative Nutcase #1 The media loves him so i'm sure it will just pass away quietly...

Conservative Nutcase Ground Zero (original poster) Unfortunately, all too true. Somehow it will be blamed on some vast, right-wing conspiracy. Lol.  

Herbert Scott August Sucks that he's human, right? Did you see the part where he respectfully shook Raul Castro's hand too? The nerve! That's where this country is headed! Instead he should have laid a right hook on him. That's the 'merican way! Socialism! We're all doomed! Buy guns! Vote for people who use scientific technology every day to check the weather but then dismiss the science saying global warming is real! Healthcare for everyone is horrible! People should continue to charge millions to hospitals because they don't have policies instead of being forced to pay a portion of their own healthcare! Even immigrants! I'll never support THOSE people...unless I like eating in restaurants or need work done on my house, or get my mani-pedi every week! They all have to go! Can you believe these people??? Humans...can't live with them, can't kill them legally. Where's Bush when you need him? Painting? That's noble. Making the world a better place one dog painting at a time!

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I hates me an extremist...but I hates me a hypocrite extremist even more.  I know I've given the legion of doom on this post fodder to further discredit me, the President, and free-thinking, science abiding, left-leaning (read: persons for the greater good) and anyone else who doesn't agree with the Republican line...but I couldn't help myself.  Not likely to stay FaceBook "friends" much longer, but thought I would share.

The Holiday Blues (and whites)

I need to be up front and clarify, I don’t hate Christmas.  I have nothing against it as a religious holiday…or even as an excuse to give gifts…which, I believe, are mutually exclusive events, but I digress.  What I do have a problem with is the commercialization of the event, because, ultimately, that’s what infiltrates our lives most. 

Don’t get me wrong, my family, while wildly Jewish (Reform Jews…i.e. Bacon and Cheeseburger Jews), always have had holiday get-togethers.  We're Easter and Christmas Jews.  We exchange gifts…go out to eat on Christmas Eve, and have a massive Christmas brunch, complete with presents and Grandma’s get-rich-quick holiday themed scratch-offs.  Oh yeah, movies and Chinese food on Christmas day too.  We’ve taken trips into NYC specifically to sit on Santa’s lap and see The Tree (capitalized because there is only one) at Rockefeller Center.  I like the City all decorated and it’s nice to see people yearning to see some of the decorative spectacle which is Christmas in New York.

However, not being Christian, this time of year poses many challenges.  I don’t mind holiday music as long as it’s tastefully done and doesn’t represent a grandiose oversimplification of the intended spiritual message.  I do HATE hokey re-hashes of Christmas Classics for TV holiday specials.  I don’t want to hear the flash-in-the-pan croak “White Christmas” when I can turn on a radio or CD (or music stream) and hear Bing Crosby or Nat King Cole do it right.  There are exceptions: She and Him’s Christmas album is refreshingly reserved and not over the top at all.  Also, the YouTube hit of Zoey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt singing “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” is adorable and, again restrained and tasteful.  But, all in all, there are songs not related to the “season” that some of us who don’t celebrate the religious holiday would like to hear instead of 5 crappy techno renditions of “Little Drummer Boy” as we do our grocery shopping or visit the pharmacy.

Also, I understand capitalism.  I get that the “holidays” drive commerce…but isn’t that a problem?  Every commercial is screaming with red and green reminders of sales and must-have products for the whole family.  I believe Charles Schultz had it 100% correct.  And, in the span of a half-an-hour, he was able to combine some of the spiritual and biblical messages of which Christmas is supposed to be about and show how, when a community embraces the sharing and caring messages of Jesus and his proclaimed teachings, that this world can be a beautiful place, regardless of social class, economic output, and need for material possessions. 

The challenge, then, is for me to tune out the crap (or what I deem crap; you may like it, and that’s on you) and encourage the spirit of gratefulness of what you have, and joy of giving that this time of year peripherally endorses through the sales of $300 55-inch TVs at WalMart.  If only there was a holiday where the focus was on family, and love and giving, and thankfulness without all of the commercial bric-a-brac.  If only there was another day where we could celebrate togetherness that was proximate to the Holiday season without the pressures of gift giving or being force-fed guilt through a vast media frenzy encouraging gluttonous consumption of trinkets and bling.  Then, and only then, we could focus on the truly important messages of life, spirituality and family.  That is, until WalMart opens at 8pm.

Smart Phone; Smarter Buyer

Apple is both a phenomenal company and a bunch of ass hats.  So, a month ago, my iPhone 4s busted.  The top button (sleep/wake) ceased to depress.  Oh, it still worked, but in order to ensure that contact was made you had to press really hard and, and not reliably.  What to do with a broken phone?  Why sell it on Craigslist, of course.  Now, I understand that all sorts of unscrupulous transactions occur on Craigslist.  Hell, the personals are…to put it mildly…unsavory to a more refined individual than myself.

It took about 20 minutes from the original posting, and I got about 8 e-mails, some in English, some with poor typing or grammatical errors.  I picked the one where the request was written well and a reasonable price offer and called him up.  We’d meet the next day in a Target parking lot and make the exchange there.  Please note that I didn’t offer up that the phone was compromised in any way.  I indicated that it was “perfectly functioning.”  And, to tell the truth, the button worked, but obviously not in the way it was initially intended to.

Well, we met, he turned on the phone, checked everything out, and then on putting the phone into his pocket, pressed the sleep/wake button, and slipped it into his jeans, not noticing that it didn’t work (because he didn’t press firmly enough).  My heart was beating a mile a minute.  I’m not necessarily trying to take advantage, just hoping that he would continue to overlook the issue.  As he was counting out the agreed upon amount, his friend reminded him to check the cameras on the device, just to make sure they worked.  And, as you can imagine, that’s when the cat, out of the bag, sunk the deal.  Cameras work fine.  Button, upon its second test depression, did not.  Deal over.  They were no longer interested.  Done and done.

So, it serves me right.  But, so that I don’t have a repeat experience, I found an Apple-product repair place, which, when they repaired the phone, killed any kind of warrantee claim that can be made on the device, but whatever.  At least now the phone works as described, and I’m now in the process of finding another buyer.  However, now I have to buffer against the repair expense in my asking price.  Again, it serves me right…but I was this close!  Would you believe this close? [Maxwell Smart]

Barracuda

Jude this morning asked if we could listen to the song about the fish on our way to his daycare.  If you know me and my family, you’ll know that we see Phish often, so I asked him which song.  No dad, the song about the barracuda.  Wait, what?  Heart’s “Barracuda?”  Yeah dad, he says.  I open You Tube and of course the first link is to an audio stream of the song.  When the Wilson sisters finally get to its name sake in the lyrics, he goes “Yeah, there it is.” 

I’m impressed.  But, I shouldn’t be.  We’ve never really played the typical “children’s” music for him when he was growing up.  Instead, to satisfy his growing passion for music we played Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man”, the 70’s theme from the Spider-man cartoon, and, of course, selections from the Phish catalog.  So, I shouldn’t be shocked when he asked for Ann and Nancy Wilson’s blistering 1977 chart-topper.  He must have heard it in the car on the radio.  Little sponge.  Good for you man.  Know what you like and grab it.

Hopefully this will blossom.  I would love it if he were able to respect music on all levels.  He seems to like the drums, and drumming.  He loves to sit in my lap while I play guitar…and deaden the strings.  And, mostly, I hope that he takes a page out of Sara’s and my book regarding live music.  We love music.  And, while we love many forms of music, we don’t like them all, but appreciate the skill regardless of the genre.  Imagine my surprise when we figured out that we’d been sitting in the Gospel tent at NOLA’s Jazz Fest for over an hour.  I’m not into Gospel, but that’s some powerful music.  But, I digress.  In short, I think that music made for children is, mostly, oversimplified crap.  There are exceptions of course, but there’s plenty of good music, both classic and modern, that a kid can wrap his brain around.  You can argue it, but between Rossini, Beethoven, CSNY, the Beatles, They Might Be Giants, Zeppelin, and many others, you can build an incredible, kid-friendly play list.

And, it’s rubbing off.  The other day, I caught Johanna walking over to where my guitar stand is, and gently plucking the strings.  With names like Jude and Johanna they better love music, and it’s just frigging awesome watching their eyes open up and enjoy something of quality without any bias or opinion or back knowledge.  Just absolutely awesome.