Vague Gas

The fast and easy way to prompt a reaction is to immediately indicate that you are diametrically opposed to something that is obviously popular to some segment of the population.  For me, that’s Vegas.  Having now been here for a full day, I can say that, without a doubt, this city is completely unsustainable on a number of levels. 

First, the city caters to sloth, obesity, and an empty promise of something for nothing.  I can’t help but feel that the entire premise of “get rich quick” is a leftover from my grandparent’s age.  No matter what you play, the house always wins.  Food is overpriced and abundant if you have the coin.  The southwestern US culture of Native Americans and gold rush are lost on this overbuilt Disney-esque representation of international flavor.  It’s a sham.  If you like 5 sugars in your coffee then you’ll probably like Vegas (and Thomas Kinkade paintings).  Like anything, extravagances need to be taken in digestible doses…but looking around at the obese walking from slots to table and back to the slots proves that isn’t happening here.   You get the feeling that if Carnival Cruise Lines could carve a channel from Los Angeles to Vegas to add it as a regular stop, they would, if it promised not to take away from their own gambling revenues.

Environmentally, this place is a nightmare.  It’s a desert.  You have nothing around the city for miles other than open road, stunted Joshua Tree cacti, ravens and dirt…thousands of square miles of dirt.  Yet, Vegas’ big draw?  The (evaporative) fountains at the Bellagio.  The sheer number of kilowatts needed to light the strip is mind numbing.  Add to that 100,000 hotel rooms, air conditioning, and juice for the slots/tables and you’re talking about millions and millions of kilowatts. 

In most major cities you place the airport outside of the busy financial epicenter.  New York has three peripheral airports.  DC, Philadelphia, Boston, Miami, Chicago, New Orleans, Los Angeles all have their airports away from the heart of the city.  Not Vegas baby.  In line with the shit-where-you-eat mentality of it all, the airport is nearly adjacent to the strip.  What sound pollution?  Who could hear the airport over the whines of culturally neutral musical acts like Celine Dion and Brittany Spears? 

Every 5 feet is another opportunity to have a Starbucks cup of coffee.  Every major food chain is here.  The malls in Vegas make Short Hills, NJ look like a Target.  I can’t tell you how excited I was when I saw a Marshalls and Walgreens Pharmacy.  Celebrity Chefs are shoehorned into the casinos.  If it was on TV you can get it here…in the middle of nowhere…for an inflated price. 

And, the smoke.  It permeates every casino, every store, every fiber of your clothes.  It’s, in short, disgusting. 

However, beyond the strip are those small businesses and eateries that are trying to redeem Sin City.  Thank god for Yonaka Sushi and the breakfast/lunch place Eat.  Soul redeeming meals far enough from the glitz that you could take a step back, enjoy your meal, and relax.  In short, I’m not likely to make Las Vegas a destination ever again…but if I do, I’ll be looking to escape as quickly as I can…to Zion or Grand Canyon National Parks, for a (mentally and physically) healthier experience.

The power of sonic flight!

Before I get into our trip, and it did take all day, I wanted to start with pre-trip preparation.  As an audiophile, not only did I have to bring my phone and headphones, but the headphone amp as well...which, by the way, can totally work with the laptop.  More on that later.  In addition to the normal plugs, now I'm carrying the amp USB cord as well. 

Next,  music.  With the existing size limits on phone memory capacity (iPhone without a micro SD slot) you need to choose wisely for your trip.  These days, most rentals come with at least an AUX port...so don't forget your headphone-to-headphone cord.  Plus, now you're going to have to rely on the limited amount of music you brought...and it has to be appropriate for every situation you may encounter.

Case in point: take off.  I love a good sound track, and when I travel, I need that forceful piece of music to carry me into the heavens in parallel with the plane.  It's a bit OCD, but I decide ahead of time what 'lift-off' music needs to be on the phone.  In the past I remember selecting "Time" by Pink Floyd, and "Everything in its right place" off of OK Computer by Radiohead.  Much to my surprise, I had never taken off to the Star Wars sound track.  Of course I already owned the London Symphony Orchestra's remastered tracks for all three of the ORIGINAL Star Wars movies.  I plugged in; got the headphones in line with the amp, and as the plane accelerated down the tarmac, I had the Fox Fanfare blaring in my head.  It's Star Wars time baby.

Yes, I'm a complete and total nerd.  If you're reading this, you knew that already.  After a much needed opening theme from Empire Strikes Back, I switched gears, plugged the amp into the laptop, and proceeded to watch "American Hustle." Don't ask how I got it.  Just assume I'm a member of the Academy.

The flight, with my audio fix sated, was largely uneventful.  Even the turbulence was acceptable thanks to some ginger drops that were recommended highly by Amazon faithful.  I can never tell whether those people are normal, even-keeled people like me (us) or if they're over emphatic nutsos...but they all liked the ginger drops. 

More on this trip another night.  My traveling companion bought some extremely smooth Tequila and that third shot is really hitting me pretty hard.  Besides, at this point of inebriation, I just want to write about bodily noises and toe cheese, which seem to be the hot topics of conversation.  Boys will be boys?

Paul Ash

I know that most of the world is mourning, or at least recognizing, the death of Shirley Temple Black.  And, while she was able to impact lives both on and off screen, I’d like to bring to the forefront the death of another cultural icon: Paul Ash.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/11/business/paul-ash-president-of-music-store-chain-dies-at-84.html?hpw&rref=obituaries

About 15 years ago, I came into possession of a used electric guitar from my grandmother.  Her friend had given it to her and she was about to put it into the “kids” bin for my sibs and cousins to play with/destroy.  I hadn’t picked up a guitar since I was about 7 or 8, but recognized this one as potentially “real” and playable, and so I took it. 

As far as I can tell, it was a Fender Fat Strat knock-off.  A solid body with glossy black finish, maple neck and rosewood fretboard.  On the electronic side, it sported two humbuckers.  Knowing next to nothing about guitars, I brought it to Sam Ash, handed it to one of the employees and said “I don’t even know if this thing works.”  The long-haired I-work-here-for-the-discount sales person plugged it in, tuned it…shredded it, and said “Yah, dude.  I see what you mean.  The neck needs to be straightened and pots need to be cleaned.  We’ll also put on a set of light strings for you.”  My mouth was still on the floor, and $130 later, I walked out with the reconditioned guitar and 10W Vox amp.  I was now on the road to becoming a musician.

Now, the headstock wasn’t shaped like a Fender.  It was more pointy and had the name “Sammy” in cursive on the top between the tuners.  A brief internet search showed that there are tons of Fender knock-offs…but I wanted to know the genesis of this guitar.  I called Sam Ash headquarters on Long Island, described my issue to the receptionist, and she transferred me to someone who would know the history of Sam Ash’s products.  “Hello, this is Paul Ash, how can I help you?”

What happened next was the most generous 45 minutes that any president of a major retailer has ever given me (an arguably short list).  I described the guitar, he looked through catalogues, checked the computer, and while the search yielded nothing, he was just as interested in the guitar as I was.  We said our goodbyes, but I was so floored that an Ash answered the phone, that the majority of my music purchases have been at Sam Ash.

There’s something to be said for family-run businesses, and Sam Ash is still one of the greatest.  While prices of the merchandise continue to drop due to Amazonian globalization, they still maintain 46 stores all across the US with a huge New York presence.   I haven’t been to the new 34^th Street location, but I understand the need for more space than what they were getting in Times Square.  I’m sure it’s awesome, and can’t wait for my next mid-town trip so that I can check it out, and mentally pay my respects.

Travel, Tech and Food

A hodgepodge:

Travel:

After the last two snow storms (and the next pending event), am I nuts to want to get to southern Utah to see the snow-laden valleys of Bryce Canyon and Zion?  Yeah, sort-of?  It comes down to this: I’m not shoveling.  Granted, we’ve rented an all-wheel drive vehicle in case of inclement weather.  And, snow reports as of last week showed 8 inches of powder.  Snow shoeing here we come!

In addition, the mother-in-law and step-father-in-law, (i.e. Swami-Mommy and the Grand Brazil!) have seen it fit to give Wife (pronounced wee-fay, my Native-American friend) and I tickets to Mobile Alabama in late April.  What?  Right.  Mobile, just a 2hr+ drive to New Orleans during the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival where we are as much or more excited to see Kermit Ruffins and Eric Clapton as we are to see the Phish perform.  The surprise of the month was when we learned that our friends, the Jesse Squared, will also be making the trip.  Tickets purchased, rental car reserved, B&B located.  Going where the climate suits our clothes.

Tech:

A gripe: Apple, in its infinite wisdom, decided a few years back when they released the iPhone 5, to change the nature of the charging/syncing plugs.  They went “lightning” with a smaller more versatile adapter that had the potential of greater transfer speeds (mostly hype) and plug durability.  However, the real reason for the swap was a bit more insidious than that.  All lightning adapters have a built in serial numbers that distinguish a single cord or cord type from every other lightning cord available.  This gives Apple the ability to permit/exclude adapters based on their manufacturer’s participation in Apple’s MFi, or Made For “i” devices certification program.  With an iOS or iTunes update, Apple would have the power to disable the use of “unauthorized” products (read lightning connectors) that aren’t registered with the Apple mothership.  So, for those of us who had a litany of 30-pin devices (alarm-clock radios, charging docks, camera adapters, etc.) who were already in a bind to replace or re-fit them with lightning adapters, now we have to go the extra step of ensuring that the lightning adapter product is certified with Apple and has the MFi stamp of approval, typically at a greater out-of-pocket expense.  I get it, it’s a capitalistic response to poorly made foreign (read China/Hong Kong) wires and adapters people were buying in droves because Apple’s own products were cost-prohibitive ($30 or more per wire).  Luckily, there’s a growing number of 3^rd party accessory developers selling the cables at a third of the price that Apple wants.  Make sure when Amazon surfing you find the MFi in the description or you'll be plagued with constant error messages on your phone/ipad when you plug in!

Food:

Made our reservations for the North End Grill in NYC (www.northendgrillNYC.com).  Here’s to hoping the snow permits us to get there in a week or so.  Executive Chef and Partner Floyd Cardoz tailgates regularly with us during Giants games.  If the food is half as good as what he can prepare in a parking lot, we’re in for a treat!