Thursday, May 19, 2016

The Jewish Mango



Few of you know that, when it comes to food, I’m an Asiaphile.  This is to say, when I eat out, I go Asian…whether it’s Indian, Southeast Asian, Japanese, Korean or Chinese, I’m happy no matter what.  A few years ago, in my casual review of the New York Times, an article ran about a fruit I’d never heard of, but immediately became obsessed with. 

Most people know about the lychee, possibly know about the rambutan, and maybe have heard about the durian, the king of fruit…one so fragrant that it’s banned from air-travel.  But you haven’t eaten fruit until you’ve tasted fresh Mangosteen!


What is it?  Found primarily in Southeast Asia, it's a tree fruit with a hard, almost woody outside skin which protects a juicy white pulp fruit that has a tangy ambrosia taste...almost like a citrus marshmallow.  It's super sweet and delicate and, until recently, illegal to sell in the US.  Why?  Not because the United States was worried that the tree would kill off our lovely indigenous palms (it's tropical), but because of a specific fruit fly which natively lives in and around the fruit tree in that part of the world.  We don't need more pests here.  

However, the States, recognizing that their might be demand for this ridiculously tasty fruit, allowed for specimens to be irradiated as to eradicate any remaining flies and then sold, albeit sparsely.  Also, crops of the slow-growing tree were started in both Florida and Puerto Rico years ago, and, pardon the pun, the fruits are their labor are finally...uh...ripening.  You can even get them on Amazon for a ridiculous price.

That said, on Mother's day, our family was walking around Chinatown and, lo!  What was in the street fruit-stand?  A box of unmistakable mangosteens!  There wasn't a sign, and the box was slightly behind the other fruit such as oranges and durian.  How much, I asked.  The answer was $9 per pound.  Sold.  I'll take a pound.  My take resulted in 7 mangosteens...but now what.  I've never had fresh.  My only experience, to date, was the canned mangosteens purchased from the Asian food market.  Only one way to find out.


As I suggested in my description, the outer hull was almost woody in nature.  After creating the initial cut, I pried the shell open until it broke naturally, revealing the almost surreal white fruit held within.  Like an orange, the mangosteen is lobed...but without the fibrous strings that an orange might have. 


Each lobe was juicy and extremely delicate.  Using a spoon, I carefully extracted the fruit which gave off a slightly sweet smell.  Separated a lobe and popped it into my mouth.  Delicious.  The flavor is light and delicate.  And, due to the fragility of the fruit, it almost melts in your mouth.  There's a slight tangy flavor, but the overwhelming taste is like the combination of a very light peach flavor combined with a hint of orange or pineapple and almond.  Each one I opened was ripe and as sweet as the last.  Unlike oranges, the flavor and degree of sweetness was fairly consistent between fruits.  

The true test was the 3 and a half year old...who loves fruit, but is extremely hesitant to try new things.  Getting her to put some in her mouth was a challenge as both my wife and I struggled to come up with a familiar description that Johanna was comfortable with.  "It's a new kind of orange."  However, as soon as the first bite was down, her hand came immediately out and asked for the rest.  Success. 

I don't know where the government is right now in allowing these to come into the US or how successful US farms are at getting a crop.  What I do know is that they're not in ShopRite yet.  So, if you find yourself in Chinatown, make sure you sniff these out.  I promise, you won't regret it.


Friday, May 13, 2016

Auto Issues



There are certain tasks I am just outright not qualified for.  Many of them are in the realm of auto repair.  Admittedly, if I was forced at gunpoint (and had YouTube available) I could probably change the oil on my 2010 Subaru Outback.  Yes, I drive an outback…which my “out” friend said that either I’m a staunch environmentalist or a lesbian.  I like to think that I’m a little bit of both…but I digress. 

On Monday, I noticed on my lunchbreak that the low-pressure tire indicator was on the dashboard.  OK.  I did a quick survey of my vehicle and all tires looked inflated/semi-inflated so I drove it from the office to a local mechanic shop I use because it’s convenient to have that kind of stuff done during the work day.  Upon pulling up, the mechanic and I noticed a hex-bolt sticking out of the tread of the tire…the obvious culprit.  We come up with a plan: they would quickly swap the tire for my doughnut and I’d be able to drive away until they repaired the tire…or recommend that I replace it.  At 3:30pm, the call came in that it would be done by 4 and when I got there, it only took another 15 minutes to get it completed.  While waiting, I let them know that I’d be back on Thursday to get my clutch replaced.  It seems that I’ve been driving the last two weeks in a manual transmission car with severely slipping gears, and it was time to get that rectified.  They said no problem, but it’s usually a 2 day thing because they have to send it out to be machined and that takes time…yadda yadda yadda.

None of this fazed me.  I got back to the office the next day, set up a rental car to meet me at the shop on Thursday with the understanding that I’d need the car for at least two days.  And then I got the phone call from the shop indicating that there was one mechanic who is in charge of this type of operation…and he was out.  When is the dead-end time that you need the car, Mr. August?  I said by 3:30, Friday…as I had originally planned.  They said no problem.

And, sure enough, at 2:15pm today, I got the phone call that it was all done.  But, now I’m on my way back to the rental place who will then drive me and my two car-seats back to the shop, where I will have to fork over a pound of flesh in order to get the keys back of my now-repaired vehicle.  Is this the right time to say that I’d really like a new Mini Cooper Clubman?  Looks like I’ll be driving this one for the foreseeable future.  At least it’ll drive like a car and not some fragile non-accelerating hunk of crap…well, that’s how I hope it drives.  Fingers are crossed that they fixed what they needed to fix.

Friday, May 6, 2016

#ASwiftKickForFreedom



I think like most people, we’ve culled the long list of FaceBook “friends” so that our opinions are reflected back to us.  Yes, right now there’s squabbling between Bernie Dems and Hillary Dems in my feed, but I think we all agree that, my FaceBook peeps are going to vote for whichever one gets the head nod.  I HOPE that’s the case. (How's all that hopey-changey stuff working out for ya?  Pretty good actually.  Thanks for asking.)

But, following this lead up to the nominations, I’ve come to some realizations.  I’m getting softer on people who I recently believed I detested.  But, there are a number of staunch Republicans who, if I met them on the street or in a bar, I’d actually want to speak with; people who I believe are intelligent and could carry out a conversation with, and then agree to disagree as we parted ways.  No anger, just difference of opinion.  

Firstly, I never hated John McCain.  I feel that I have too much respect for the POW and how seemingly kind and moderate he is.  Yes, when he ran he towed the party line, offered up the second most important job in the world to someone with the mental capacity of a cockatoo (a mistake I know he still feels to this day; I'm so sorry cockatoos), and, generally, came off as far more conservative than his voting record demonstrated.  I guess he needed to be far more to the right in order to lock up the base vote.  I think it ruined him to most of us Dems, but, I know I’d be happy to have a drink with the man.

More recently than that, I’ve come to similar conclusions about both Paul Ryan and John Boehner.  I don’t like them nearly as much as McCain, but I feel that Ryan’s softer tone as the current Speaker of the House, and Boehner’s willingness to be silly with the President speaks volumes.  I will never agree with either of them, but I recognize their ability as humans with grossly different opinions than my own.  They can rationalize away things like climate change and marriage equality.  They’re flat out wrong, but we can talk about why over drinks, find common ground over the NFL or the weather, and part ways.  Call it a professional courtesy as a citizen whose life they tried, but weren't able, to make considerably more difficult.

I don’t have the same luke-warm feels for Cruz and Trump.  First, I believe that Cruz will eventually wind up in an insane asylum somewhere.  His ideas aren’t just wrong for the US, they’re wrong for modern human society.  If Cruz was to somehow survive the Trump onslaught, I feel that evolution, human evolution, would have started to regress.  One man/one woman marriages would be determined by who could club who over the head first.  Knuckles would be all draggy and everyone would need a gun.

Trump and his cronies, like the #governot, I just want to give a swift kick in the balls.  Based on either of their campaigns to date, “conversation” is made when you’ve become the loudest in the room.  At that point, your opponent isn’t listening anyway, so, to interrupt, you may need to resort to a shot to the nads.  Seriously, imagine #makedonalddrumpfagain screaming about Mexicans or “Obamacare” or anything related to feminism.  He’s not having a conversation.  He’s not listening.  And, I have severe doubts that he’s looking at you.  The man is on a mission to be right.  So, to get your point across, dude needs to feel the pain.  I know there are serious ramifications to assaulting a presidential candidate with a full Secret Service detail, but, in my hypothetical world, where he and I meet at a bar to have a political conversation, there’s probably only one way to get a word in edgewise: a knee to the proverbial “knuts.” 

Again, I'm preaching to the choir.  I get it that you get it.  And, with that, I'm not truly advocating harm to the man.  But, in the right context, in the right situation, I think it may be the only play left in the play-book.  If you're there and can, consider delivering our message to the man.  However, if reality has been echoed in this portrait, it may not do the damage intended.  If anything, maybe it'll stop him from breeding additional supporters and campaign workers.  Here's to hoping that it won't be necessary. 

#6MonthsTillJudgementDay 
#ASwiftKickForFreedom