The Two Step

A quick note about internet safety, if someone wants to access your e-mail account very badly, then they will, and there’s really nothing you can do about it.  Case in point, today, I received an e-mail from a contractor/friend that my wife and I used many times in our house in Westfield.  Really honest guy and did good work (met him while getting coffee in Maria’s in Chester, NJ…so if you’re in the Morris County area, I will hook you up).  The e-mail was designed to look like a Dropbox link with a header that read “You have a pending incoming docs (sic) shared with you via Dropbox. Click to open: SECURE MESSAGE.”  Then there was a brief sentence explaining Dropbox and a logo for that company. 

The first tip that this was bogus was the lousy English used.  “You have a pending incoming docs…”  What?  OK…I’ll bite.  I hovered my mouse over the single link to see where it went

(do not click!)

www.vialorran.com.br...plus a number of forward slashes and other folder horseshit.

Hrm…not a Dropbox link?  How very strange. 

So, thinking that this was most likely a robo-hack of a friend’s account, I replied and wrote the following “Hey Rob, I got this from your e-mail address.  It's not legit and may contain a virus.  You probably want to reset your password. Herb Scott”

A minute later, I got this:

“It is legit. Please sign in and view the documents i sent to you. Thank you”

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  Next step was to call Rob.  The shortsightedness of the thief was that I wouldn’t be able to alert the account owner.  Got on the phone with Rob and he said that I was the third person to make him aware of this and that he was on it.

Most scary was that someone took the time, while in Rob’s account, to reply!  HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!

What to do?  Rob will reset his password, and, hopefully will heed my recommendation to activate the two-step authorization that Google/Gmail allows for.  Simply, once you enter your username and password for your e-mail, a SMS/Text message is sent to your phone with a unique 6-digit number which you then have to enter into your browser window in order to complete your log-in process.  It’s all explained much better here. 

https://www.google.com/landing/2step/

If you’re using one of these Cloud accounts (i.e. Google, Hotmail, Yahoo, etc.) it is imperative that you cover your digital ass with a 2-step verification.  Also also…a dude who cracks your PW for one site is going to be tempted to use it on others, such as Amazon, PayPal, and any credit-card married website so as to really hit the cyber-theft jackpot.  People, YOU CAN NOT USE THE SAME PASSWORD FOR EACH WEBSITE YOU ACCESS…EVER…DON’T DO IT.  There are a number of password logs available for iOS and Android…and/or you could create a syntax where you have a root PW and then different prefix or suffix unique to each site you sign up/in for. 

Today it was Rob, and I hope that he was able to get it under control before there was any real damage done.  I know that those thieves know I responded to his e-mail that I’m a real e-mail address…and I wouldn’t put it past them to try my account next.  Luckily, I’ve got 2-step verification going on, and hopefully that will be enough to keep them out.  Fingers crossed.

The Joke

So, last week was a bit of a downer, but this week, I need to share the joke that I requested from my friend when I was running from Newark to Scotch Plains holding the family together.  But, before I do, this is the kind of ridiculous back-and-forth that every conversation yields with this dude...

Him - Yo fool.  How goes it?

Me - Swell

H - It's been almost 2 weeks since I checked in, but I've been checked out.  Had double hemorrhoidectomy.  

M - I think I need that.  Royal pain in the ass?

H - Seriously, don't do it unless you need it.  So much pain, and 3 month full recovery.  Been out of work 2 weeks and go back on Monday.

M - Wow.  Sucks.  Did you also get an addadictomy?

H - I don't know.  What is that?  Removal of dick?

M - When you add a dick...to me.

H - LOL

M - I'm washing dishes right now but give me an hour and I'll give you a call.

H - Henny Youngman folks, take his wife, please.  Can't, [my wife] has to work at 7 so I have to wash and read and put [the kid] to bed.  Maybe tomorrow?

M - Alright, sounds good.

H - Cool

M - Wait, you can't be on the phone after [said kid] goes to bed?

H - LOL, yes, I guess I'm allowed.

M - No, seriously.  I don't want you breaking any rules.

H - Will call after I put [the kid] to bed.  Dick.

M - You should have have had that procedure. 


I think his wife would have agreed.  Anyway, on to the joke:

A married couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary by having dinner together.  Sitting across from each other, they lock eyes.  He says, "remember 50 years ago how much in love we were?"  She said "Yes" and smiles back.  He said, "remember 50 years ago how we couldn't keep our hands off each other?"  She smiles and says "Yes."  He says, "Remember 50 years ago how we used to get naked?"  She says, "Oh, yes."  He says, "let's do that now."  So, they both disrobe, and she looks at him with a glint and sparkle in her eye and says "My nipples burn for you now just like they did 50 years ago."  He says "No kidding?  One's in your coffee and the other's in your soup!"


I hope that brings as much of a smile to your face as it did for me.

From Mortgages to Mortality

As my friends are in the middle of having our 40^th birthdays, shit’s starting to get real.  Late bloomers are finding their soul-mates and getting married.  Others are finding their groove at work, or at play.  Hobbies are becoming something that we pass down to our kids in hopes that we leave them more than just a genetic legacy.

But as I said, shit is getting real.  There’s this sense of impending grief that I’m feeling.  With my most recent experience, it solidified some very intense emotions.  I wasn’t prepared.  I’m not sure I’d be prepared for the next one, and I’m praying that I won’t have to deal with it any time soon.  Because at 40, there are some very real concerns.  Our parents are aging.  Our bodies are aging and, some of those words that happen to “other people” are creeping in: death in the family, accidents, and cancer.  And, in the last 3 months, my friends and I have experienced all of them.

Are we unique?  No.  Did we think we were invulnerable?  Absolutely not.  Logically, we knew what we had on the line, decided that this shit happens to other people, and resolved to go on with our very hectic lives.  And then the rug was pulled out from under us.  Even though we knew to expect it, we didn’t, and that made the grief all that much more real.  While our lives slow down, we have been forced to grow, now faster than ever.   It hurts.  It’s way too much to come to terms with.  Worst of all, it’s impossible to express to those around us.  People just want to help.  We just want the world to quiet down so that we can focus on the reality of the situation.  We push people away.  We insist we can do it alone.  We can get this done. 

And we can.  We’re strong enough…but what I came to realize is what people say all the time: rely on your loved ones to help.  It’s so much easier to say than it is to do.  We have a burden…and we understand what a heavy weight that is…and we don’t want to be THAT to someone else, so we shut down.  We say no to the many friendly gestures that are offered.   We also feel obligated to the community making the effort to prop us up.  We post updates.  We circulate the latest information, trying not to be too grim about the reality.  And then we push the world away again. 

I know I’ve said it before, but thank you to everyone who had made offers to help me and my family.  I still don’t want it.  I know I need it because despite my best efforts, some of that love, that caring did get through…and it made me think of something else for a while.  A bunch of you played Trivia Crack with me while I was sitting in the hospital, waiting for visiting hours to resume at the ICU.  A friend was about to fly up from Georgia to keep me company.  I had that covered with occasional visits from some great friends.  Instead, I settled for a joke, which made me laugh out loud.  In hindsight, I would have loved that company.  I would have loved the meals that were offered; the offers of picking up the kids for play dates or from school or on weekends.  And, I turned it all down, relying on my family to pick up that slack. 

And, for that, I’m sorry.  You were right.  I did need that stuff and more.  Again, that’s old news.  My life is at a place right now I didn’t know could be a reality just 2 months ago.  But that growth is ridiculous, because my friends have recently gone through or are going through the most difficult test in their life, and their struggle was mine.  It’s so hard learning who we are, and that we’re now in the driver’s seat, and all of the responsibilities that come with that.  I just wish for them what was once wished for me, and it’s now my turn to push some of that unwanted goodness and well-wishing to those who also don’t think they need it. 

Sucked more than a little

Can we all agree on something…Ticketmaster is terrible?  That’s less of a question, and more of a statement of fact.  Fees associated with your purchases sometimes exceed 10% of the ticket price, and for what?  With so much of the purchase process automated, and far fewer call centers for phone orders, it seems that they’ve only needed to reduce costs instead of increase them.  Among my circle of concert-going friends, they are not-so-affectionately known as Ticket-bastard.  And, we’re not alone.  For the smaller venues and smaller shows, artists are working outside the box and experimenting with both other ticketing options as well as selling direct to the fans due to the TM screw.  Louis C.K. is famous for this.  You buy from him.  You want his latest show?  Pay him.  You want to order tickets? Pay him.  Now, he has, due to some venue rules, needed to work with TM, but when he got to that point, he was able to talk them out of charging the ridiculous fees they’re known for (i.e. his recent MSG shows). 

Another direction is to work with smaller ticketing agents.  The wife and I wanted to see Keller Williams and his funk band at the Stone Pony in Asbury Park.  Tickets were being advertised on his website, and sold through a small ticket agent called FrontGate Tickets.  So, my wife and I purchased tickets through the FrontGate website, and all seemed to be in order.  Confirmation came through (e-mail) that the tickets would be printed and mailed USPS a week or so before the event.  When they didn't come, I gave FrontGate a call.  They claimed that Keller's peeps didn't provide enough tickets and that, instead of mailing, they'd waiting for us WillCall.  No problem.  The night of the show, after waiting 20 minutes in 20 degree temps in line, we finally got to the window, and lo, our name wasn't on the WillCall list!  I immediately called FrontGate (open 9am-9pm Central; Mon-Sat) and they said that the Pony ticket office should check the "WillCall" list and then a "Buyer's list", and call a manager to look too and all sales are final.  If you've ever been at the Pony you know they're already short staffed, and that night the line was long.  None of that bore fruit.  Name wasn't there and we couldn't get in.  The woman at the Stone Pony also indicated that we weren't the only ones with this issue.  Rightly so, I largely place the blame at FrontGate's feet.

Tuesday morning, I called FrontGate and, after regaling the tale, they promised a full refund despite their “all-sales-final” policy.  But, this was less about the money, and more about the inability to see a show.  We don't have the freedom to just hit any show we want (our fault for procreating), and this was a night out.  Also, this was the last show of his in the Northeast until September!  There are other bands and other ways to spend our money...but to have planned this, hired a sitter and have it not work out was disheartening.

Happy ending, though.  I wanted Keller’s people to know what happened in order for them to keep this from happening to some other poor schmuck.  I wrote to them much of what I wrote here and they were super fast on the response, super gracious and apologetic, and offered to comp our next show!  Oh, and you can’t go to a show without being properly attired, so they threw in 2 T’s to boot…pick any you like.  So, it all ended well, and we’ll definitely be taking them up on a show when he swings around again.  I know it seems like I’ve got OMS (Old Man Syndrome) by bitching to the talent like I did (You whippersnappers! Get off my lawn!), but I thought it ended well enough to say that, if you get screwed, speak up.  Most times, people, companies, brands will try to make it right.  And if they don’t, maybe it’s time to stop patronizing that entity, and start spending your money on bands, organizations and companies that understand that the customer/fan is #1 (and paying your bills)!