Stasis

It's a strange thing being physically limited for a brief part of your life.  I'm now entering week 7 where I still can't put any weight on my broken leg.  The intention of the Doctor is to allow it to permanently heal (min 8 weeks, but could take as many as 12) before he assigns me physical therapy.  The muscles in that leg have severely atrophied, and, due to the increased load, the other leg is strained, as are my arms and whole body from crutching.  It's not pain, but more like perpetual ache.

People are constantly asking me, "oh, are you feeling better?" or "how are you healing?"  I honestly couldn't tell you.  All I know is that I'm still on crutches, off pain meds, and can't drive.  It's been this way for about 3 weeks now.  I won't "test" the leg to see how much pain...that's just ridiculous.  Getting x-rays today may shed some light, but, the doctor won't be reading them until Monday...my official "Week 7."  

My family really wants me to be better so that I can pick up where I left off.  However, I still think that's a long time away.  I'm a bit unnerved when thinking of putting pressure on that leg again.  Will it hurt?  Will my muscles just ache?  How many days PT will I need per week and for how many months?  What's the total healing time?

I'm losing weight.  Strange to think that immobilization is allowing me to slim down.  However, I believe that I read somewhere on the internet that you tend to burn as much as 6,000 calories in a day as your body works to mend the injury.  If it's on the internet then it must be true.

I guess the biggest issue is that I feel as if I'm in a holding pattern.  A wait and see.  If I were permanently injured, there would be contingencies regarding mobility and permanent solutions for the disability.  Instead, because I'm healing, everything I used to do is waiting for me.  How long?  I have no idea.  Just a different mind-set, I guess.  Don't need to change much to make things easier as you'll be right as rain in just a couple of months.  So, suck it up.  Depend on the kindness of those around you, and get better, whatever that means.  I'm sure my family is sick of it. 

So, here I am, waiting out the clock.  Days come and go, but tomorrow won't be any different than today.  Sure,  the people around me change...different conversations and environments, but, until I've met a criteria that I can't conceptualize, I'm in stasis.  It's neither bad nor good...just boring, and I'm anxious to get on with my life.