Friday, October 7, 2016

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.



Look, it’s early October, and that can only mean one thing: it’s only 2 months until my birthday.  Yes yes.  I’ll give you time to stop your applause and adulations.  As in years past, there are some things that I think say “Look, this is most certainly what he wants…it IS him.”  And, in case you’re not saying that, here’s a short list of amazing gifts you should consider bestowing upon me.

I think my love of coffee is well documented (here), especially my need for fresh press-pots of coffee.  I also love Star Wars, and if you didn’t know that then maybe we’re not truly friends/related.  I give you the perfect amalgam: The Star WarsR2-D2 Coffee Press.  Yes, if you’re like me, you’re going to need a jolt of caffeine in order to stay awake during your next Star Wars marathon.  What better way to make a solid pot of brew?  Follow my formula of 1-scoop per cup, add hot water, let brew, make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs and Presto!

A runner up to that are these light-up Darth Vader chopsticks.  Yes please.

Not expensive enough for you?  Fine, I can handle that.  I mean, you don’t want to be presenting me with cheap trinkets when you can afford to get me something of higher value (albeit not a higher necessity).  Enter the AudioQuest DragonFly USB Digital to Analog Converter and Apple Lightning toUSB Camera Adapter.  What the hell do you do with that.  Well, I’m still working on my quest to have some truly superior music course through my ears, and this is the “it goes to 11” device that will propel my high-quality audio files into the stratosphere.  Basically, it takes the processing responsibility of processing those zeros and ones away from the iPhone and, instead, takes on that responsibility itself.  You plug this into the iPhone Lightning port, and plug your headphones into this and Presto! Better sounding high fidelity files!  And, it also comes in Red!  How cool is that?

Finally, I thought, you know what I need more than anything else in the world?  The MonkeyLectricMonkey Light M232 full wheel illumination system!  Huh?  Yup! You affix several strings of multi-colored LEDs to your spokes on your bike, load a couple of patterns and pictures, and mount the battery pack to the hub, and presto, you’re a rolling graphic equalizer.  While the wheel spins, these waterproof LEDs light up in a wide array of colors, images and patterns in “hundreds of color combinations” provided you’re going over 10mph.  Throw the Bluetooth speaker into your bag, blast some grateful dead, and head out for a post-sunset, cycle-psychedelic ride.  I’m not sure how I ever bicycled without these before!

And there you have it, this year’s NEED list for my birthday!  Granted, I’m sharing this all with you as my family will likely veto all of the items on this list in favor of a card and maybe a dinner out at a Chinese restaurant of my choice.  But, hey, wouldn’t it be great if I could bring my own chopsticks???  Yes, I think so too.

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